Hillary's Latest Trash-Talk! Clinton Equates "Feel the Bern" with Gonorrhea
Having had little success calling into question her chief political rival's personal integrity or agenda in light of her own checkered political past, Democratic presidential contender Hillary Clinton recently resorted to some good, old-fashioned tra...
Read full storyIllegal immigration debate arises as hurricane season nears
With hurricane season technically only weeks away, the Democrats and Republicans have once again started bashing each other. The two groups met today for a luncheon at Cracker Barrel to discuss climate change. Once talk turned to hurricanes al...
Read full storySenate on Suicide Watch as Cruz is set to Return
The rate of depression among Senators is expected to skyrocket following the news that Ted Cruz will return to the Senate after his failed presidential campaign. Authorities are very concerned that members of the Senate may take drastic measures...
Read full storyBernie Madoff to Start New Financial Group
Butner, North Carolina Famed Ponzi schemer Bernie Madoff announced from his prison cell today that he has embarked upon a new financial venture, guaranteed to make millions for whomever wants to invest in it. "I'm just trying to pay back all the i...
Read full storyDonald Trump Interview: I Will Allow My Picture to Go on the $100 Dollar Bill
Donald Trump graciously provided an in-depth interview on how he will mold the United States in his own, winning image. "First off, I will have my picture put on the $100 bill to show the world we are serious about finance. The whole world respects me as a businessman and everyone will want to own their own $100 bill just to stare at the picture and get inspiration," spoke Trump. "Next, I wi...
Read full storyIsrael urges British people not to vote Labour
A manifesto from Israel has descended on Britain telling us not to vote Labour. Those stalwarts of the Labour movement Bakunin and Proudhon are given as examples of the trend in anti-semitism that is inspiring the left to criticise Israel's policy to...
Read full storyTrump Says That Hillary Will Have Trouble Ruling the Country Every 28 Days
New York, NY Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump gave a speech today in which he said Hillary would be unfit to be President because every month she would become emotional and irrational until what he called "her cycle" has run its course.
Read full storyHulk Hogan Settles Gawker Lawsuit For Lifetime Supply Of Rippable Clothing
Tampa, FL - WWF Wrestling star, Hulk Hogan, was awarded a vein-popping monetary settlement of more than $100 million dollars, with celebrity news website, Gawker, for showing a thrity-second video of The Hulkamaniac naked-wrestling his buddy's wife.
Read full storyTed Cruz suspends presidential campaign, then names his entire cabinet selection anyway.
Following his decisive loss to Republican frontrunner Donald Trump, Senator Ted Cruz has officially announced that he will be suspending his 2016 Presidential Campaign. Stating that "There is no longer a decisive path to victory," he made the announc...
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