The Queen to be buried under Reichstag beer tent
Germany - A three day state visit to Sauerkrautland kicks off on Wednesday with a Bavarian beer drinking contest between Chancellor Angela Merkel and Queen Elizardbirth von Battenberg. Later the women are due to take part in a traditional bratwur...
Read full storyEd Miliband to present Top Gear?
Ed Miliband has put himself forward for the job of hosting Top Gear. In an interview today, Mr. Millipede said. "Am I funny enough? HELL YEAH! Do I know about cars? HELL YEAH! Carburettor. Am I misozni... Am I mimozizni... Am I sexist? HELL YEAH! Bitch. You thought Hammond's crash was bad? Look at the election results. Mr. Millipede has been at a loose end since his embarrassing and humiliatin...
Read full storyOde to George and Tony!
"Tony old bean, I want to blow that bastard, Hussein's head off, are you with me, and we need that damn oil, bloody Texans are drying up?" "Of course Georgie Porgie, we Brits have been licking US butts ever since you saved us from old Adolf and we don't intend to stop now!" "Tony old boy, we need to convince those useless twats over at the UN that it's necessary to remove this evil buggar, s...
Read full storyJapanese Firm Markets Robot Companion
Japanese manufacturing firm Titsandass Inc. shipped their latest model of humanoid robots to malls in Tokyo and Hiroshima where depraved customers waited in long lines to purchase the sensational new product. Ostensibly billed as a household compa...
Read full storyRecycled Waste Water Solves Drought Problem
California Governor Jerry Brown ended the state of emergency conditions caused by the long drought that has ravaged the Golden State for years. Mr. Brown took credit for assembling a team of top tier scientists from Stanford and Berkeley who develope...
Read full storyObama Victim Of Hate Crime
President Barak Obama was viciously attacked and beaten to within an inch of his life by an angry throng of white supremacists who shouted racial slurs while punching, kicking, and spitting slathered wads of chewing tobacco in his face. The mob of...
Read full storyMike Hackabee's Embarrassing Wardrobe Malfunction
Aspiring country music rock star bass player Mike Huckabee was mocked and jeered by hecklers in the audience while performing at a backwoods speakeasy in rural Arkansas. His lackluster musicianship provoked a negative reaction from the crowd of m...
Read full storyNew Snowdon Leak Reveals Secret Plot
CIA turncoat and American hero Edward Snowden sent a fresh batch of classified files to major news outlets that contain sensitive intelligence about yet another diabolical government conspiracy. The unredacted documents describe the top secret plo...
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