Poem found as undecipherable as any in the New Yorker
Dear Poetry Fans, I found the most interesting poem yesterday when I was thumbing through the "Baseball Digest," from August 15, 1987. I was looking over some old baseball cards I had examining the edges and looking for creases. I wanted to see what they were worth. There is a certain quality to the poem that I can't describe. I want to share it with you.
Read full storyModel prayer for all occasions discovered in Kansas
The Green Cathedral, Harrisburg, Kansas The Honorable Crowley Smitherson, asst. Minister From the Pulpit, Dear Friends, We've all had to enter the new modern age and leave behind some cherished ideas. One is prayer. We aren't giving up on prayer yet. But, in the interim, we are standardizing the prayers we use. We have decided to eliminate all prayers in favor of one brief, standardized...
Read full storyOral sex banned again at Druids' upcoming Tooting Bec Lido solstice romp
Tooting, London - Authorities have renewed a banning order on oral sex in pubic places at this Sunday's annual summer solstice orgy. Festivities planned by Ye Ancient Order Of Bards And Hos were due to take place at Tooting Bec Lido, a swimming p...
Read full story"Law and Order" Hoover Institute Frames Ed Balls Re: Election Riots
The achingly-TECHNICALLY-NOT-NEO-CON!!! Hoover Institute has been facing, not so much a funding crisis, (hell no!) as a trolling crisis. Yup! By now, millions of still-benighted citizens of the Global Village wildly insinuate that they have finally sussed out what's going on… Aye, a wicked legion of notoriously disingenuous and cynical conspiracy theorists now wantonly assert that the Hoov...
Read full storyBDSM Campaign Trojan Horse for Fetishists, NOT Anti-Semites
It is said that for some, the anti-Israel BDSM campaign represents a golden opportunity for antisemites to hide their bigotry and hatred under a cloak of respectability. But others consider the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions Movement to be an absolute godsend (well, more like Marxsend, Trotsend, Chomskend, whatever)… To wit, an easy and ethically unproblematic opportunity to show one's u...
Read full storyBill Gates Announces His 2016 Presidential Campaign
Redmond, WA-Microsoft tycoon Bill Gates plans to make everyone connected to his software, his internet providers, his self-driving vehicles "if and when" he is elected President of the United States, Gates announced in launching his 2016 presidential...
Read full storyStar Trek Society President "Not Vulcan"
The President of the New Hampshire Star Trek Society has come under fire today after his parents claimed that he was not in any way a Vulcan. The parents of Solek claimed that he is actually a fully human man named Stephen Greyson who only starte...
Read full storyJeb! _______ of the ______ Dynasty Announces His Bid for President
MIAMI, FL-John Ellis "Jeb" _______, brother of George W. ______, son of George H. W. ______, and the grandson of Senator Prescott S. ________, today announced that he would run for president of the United States because, he boomed, "I'm running becau...
Read full storyUniversities to Close
A number of unauthenticated online universities have been ordered to close their gateways by education and government officials. The aim is to make an example of fake universities that provide degrees for students who do not want to spend three pl...
Read full storyOne-Eyed Sheikh Taken Out By Two-Eyed Coyote: Wile E, That Is
BILLINGSGATE POST: The ACME Defense Department confirmed today that Mokhtar Belmokhtar, "the one-eyed sheikh," was taken out by one of its roving anti-terrorist affiliates at large, Wile E. Coyote, somewhere in the sand dunes of Syria Using tacti...
Read full storyAn Interview With Osama bin Laden (Yes, we know that he is already dead...)
An Interview With Osama bin Laden (Yes, we know that he is already dead.....) ...but we aren't going to let that stop us.... The Spoof has gained the unique opportunity to interview the infamous terrorist Osama bin Laden, the instigator of the 911 attacks on the U.S. Reaching him at his present location in Purgatory, we were able to have the following conversation with him - Rfreed - Good...
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