Twenty Signs to tell you that you are Dead
1. You think 'your' thoughts are worse than anybody else's. You have not thought about where 'your' thoughts have come from. 2. You are scared the people you respect and who respect you may find out and abandon you. 3. Killing people is okay, you believe, and your favourite movies are all about heroes and the relentless murder they bring. 4. You think sex is love because that is what they...
Read full storyOakland Raiderettes worth more than their weight in gold
LAND o' OAKS, CA - Known for their sleazy uniforms, the Oakland Raiderettes, who claim to be cheerleaders, have something to cheer about: they were awarded $125 million dollars in a lawsuit, agreeing to "settle" for representing the Raiders rathe...
Read full storyRavens new Ray Rice and wife promotion looks like a hit
To honor Ray Rice, the Baltimore Ravens will be giving away bobble head dolls of the star running back's wife. The dolls come with extra springs to heighten the hitting experience. Mark Conn, Ravens promotions director, feels the freebies will giv...
Read full storyThe "For Real" Dining Experience
A high class restaurant has just opened its doors in Los Angeles. Catering for the Hollywood high rollers it stands by its guarantee that everything on the menu is "FOR REAL". Said proprietor Pesto Tortano who was once head chef in the Vatican kit...
Read full storyNavratilova upstages Djokovic and Nishikori at U. S. Open
ONLY IN AMERICA - Martina Navratilova, known as much for her lesbianism as for her tennis, upstaged both Novak Djokovic and Keri Nishikori at the U. S. Open when Navratilova proposed to her long-time girlfriend, Julia Lemigova." The magic mome...
Read full storyAnti-Twelvie Division Commander hates talent show
The International Children's Song Contest is coming to town, and Sgt Bob Smith of the Queensland Police is none too happy. Headline acts for the show include the Arnot sisters, Rose and Rikki, who have been described by Sgt Smith as 'hearing a dru...
Read full storyNude celebrity statues to be added to Statuary Hall
WHITEWASHINGTON, AC/DC -- In 1864, Congress allowed each state to contribute two statues of prominent citizens to be displayed in the building's Statuary Hall. There were only two qualifications: the citizens to be so "honored" had to be white and ma...
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