Venus adds a touch of euthanasia to Thursday's somber solar eclipse
The Cosmos - A trainwreck astrological alignment straddles the Cosmos this Thursday when the Sun, Moon and Venus all pile into Scorpio triggering a solar eclipse in the Zodiac's Sign of Death. Skywatchers liken the aspect to a morphine/cocaine hig...
Read full story"Thank God It's Monday" is the new Credo of Republican Party
The Republican Party has come out with a new spinoff, the "Thank God It's Monday" cry, which will be present for at least a little while, until they get something going in the way of good PR and also, put a muzzle on those hideous talking heads at FO...
Read full storyEnda Kenny Voted World's Most Charismatic Current Fine Gael Taoiseach
A recent RTE poll, unsurprisingly, has determined that Enda Kenny, despite malicious rumours from irrational and extremist Fianna Fail hooligans™, really is (as none of us really doubted), the World's Most Charismatic Current Fine Gael Taoiseac...
Read full storyHere are 25 things you never want to say on a first date
Here's a list of things you shouldn't say on a first date, particularly if you want a second date. To be nonsexist, I've included some things for the ladies, too. Of course, if you're not interested in the person and want nothing to do with them after the first date, this could be a guide to "what to say on a first date": 1) I had venereal disease a few times, but not to worry, my doctor gave m...
Read full storyMy new pet just arrived UPS, and man is he cool!
I just got the best pet in the world. A Goliath Birdeater, a spider that's been shipped from the Amazon Rain Forest to my little abode in New Jersey. My Goliath Birdeater has the dubious honor of being the largest arachnid in the world. It's about...
Read full storyBan On Bank Holiday Sofa TV Ads
Opposition parties have reputedly held meetings with media watchdogs with a view to banning pointless Bank Holiday sofa advertisements on television. T.V. audiences have long been confused by the bombardment of channels with advertisements for sofas...
Read full storyEverybody's Nuts!
Doctor Paul Adams is a discount psychiatrist who claims he can save people money by proving that they are nuts in half the time it takes most psychiatrists. I sat down with him to talk about it. "Doctor Adams," I asked, "do you always try and prove that your patients are nuts?" "Always. Every time." "So you must think that everybody's nuts." "Absolutely, and here's...
Read full story