Opposition parties have reputedly held meetings with media watchdogs with a view to banning pointless Bank Holiday sofa advertisements on television. T.V. audiences have long been confused by the bombardment of channels with advertisements for sofas and dining room suites as soon as the Bank Holidays are over or even during them. At these times it is a well known fact that most people's household cash has been spent on turkeys or hotel breaks.
New anti-harrassment regulations will be fast tracked into place to put all Bank Holiday and post-Bank Holiday furniture commercials on late night subscription channels and to ban or moderate women in the adverts sitting on sofas in mini skirts. Customers will have to put in a series of short and long presses of the red buttons on remote controls to gain access to sofa advertising channels, putting a stop to children and other vulnerable people being routinely exposed to sofa advertisements in what should be a family environment and hopefully put an end to the widespresd exploitation of people who simply cannot stop buying sofas. Many chronic sufferers have at least 20 of them all over their gardens, garages and houses and even in expensive storage warehouses.
According to the furniture advertising watchdog, Stoolpigeon, many of the proposed new channels will be made interactive, featuring premium rate furniture chat lines. A spokesperson said this morning, "This will make it possible for people with known problems to access furniture purchasing help lines, whose telephone numbers will be published at the end of advertisements, although the calls will be costly, at around £100 per minute. The charges are neccessary to cover the cost of specialist on-line dining room furniture purchasing psychologists."
The Government claims that this is purely a cash raising exercise preying on vulnerable "Sofaholics".