Cute Missy World 2014 contestants face compulsory sex tests
London - "We've been asked to take off our undies and sit on a photocopier," a peeved Miss Australia said today, "to prove our gender without the rubber glove test." She and 99 other lovelies from all over the world are also being given the option...
Read full storyCouncillor Resigns Over "Parasites" Tweet
A late night tweet by Dr. Bernard-Fortesque-SmallPeace of the Council for the Rehabilitation of Bloodsucking Creatures, labelling tapeworms as good for nothing parasites has upset the Society for for symbiotic organism equality. Dr. Fortescue-S...
Read full story"Offended" Woman to Sue
A 23 year old London woman is to sue British Rail for what she claims is "personal trauma". It seems the woman boarded a subway train on the Bakerloo line on her way home from work. Then a couple of young men seated opposite her made what she cal...
Read full storyUKIP triumph in Rochester & Screwed
Kent - A British far-tight party has swept to orifice in a K*nt by-election won by some turncoat ex-Tory twat. Mark Feckless, 69, won the Rochester and Screwed by-election by 2,920 votes after coming second in a previous Pole. Uh, poll. UK Prim...
Read full storyMcDahmer's: The Newest Venture in Sustainable Living
OAK BROOK, IL - Mickey D's has announced its newest venture in sustainable living--or, as some foodies across the nation are calling it, "sustainable eating." The venture is called McDahmer's, and is named after the serial killer Jeffery Dahmer,...
Read full storyTed Cruz Turns To Words Of Og The Caveman In Denouncing Immigration Plan
WASHINGTON D.C. -- Texas Republican Sen. Ted Cruz turned to the ancient words of Og the Cro-Magnon Thursday on the Senate floor to denounce President Obama's planned actions that are expected to grant legal status to millions of illegal immigrants in...
Read full storyLabour shadow cabinet minister apologises for spray painting a phallic symbol on a Rochester voter's wall and tweeting a photo of it
Labour front bencher Seely Kau today expressed "regret for any offence I may have caused" after tweeting a photograph she had taken of a Rochester UKIP voter's house on which she had spray painted a phallus. Ms Kau, who lives in a £3 million house...
Read full storyRobot Butchers wins pie making award
Archibald Braithwait is a 3rd generation master butcher however he has been gazumped by his 5th generation robot butcher in this years annual pie making awards held in Edinburgh. Braithwait & Sons & Son introduced technology to their butc...
Read full storyFascinating Brain Tapeworm Found
A rare Brainworm which lived in man's brain for four years has been found by scientists. The man had thought he had a migraine following a Star Trek Movie where a parasite was introduced into someone to make them compliant with the commands of a dera...
Read full storyMost Xmas Turkeys Ready Now Due To Global Warming
A glut of enormous fat turkeys in Norfolk is a result of early ripening due to global warming, our Christmas fowl correspondent was told by the Bishop of Norfolk this morning. This is the second year running that the church has got it wrong since mo...
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