Divorce Saudi Arabian style
Jeddah, Saudi Arabia - A young Saudi bridgegroom who filed for divorce after less than ten minutes of marriage has appeared before a special Sharia court to explain his actions. Speaking via a divorce lawyer Kamel al-Moussa explained the marriage...
Read full storyIsle of Wight News - Record Breaking Mole-Hill
The Isle of Wight has yet another world record to add to the burgeoning collection of records held in Newport Town hall, when it was discovered that the World's Largest Mole Hill has been discovered in Merstone. "Not many people visit Merstone," s...
Read full storyVladimir Putin's Planned Erection Of New Berlin Wall
Though Vladimir Putin got away with annexing Crimea, crushing Georgia, is in the process of smashing Chechnya and invading the Ukraine (in a obvious attempt to recreate the old Soviet Union) he is now setting his sights on East Germany with plans for...
Read full storyRocky 6, 7, 8, 9 And Beyond
With the news that Sylvester Stallone is going to have a another round of Botox and release another Rocky Film, BATTL news got all excited and raided the superstars bin to find more information. After twenty minutes of throwing rubbish all over his driveway we came across a bundle of first draft scripts for his upcoming movies. Here are the best. Rocky Doggy: Ex-Heavyweight champion Rocky Bal...
Read full storyFlorida Man Looking For Family To Celebrate Black Friday
Florida man Gerry Jackson is desperately searching for a family he can celebrate the upcoming Black Friday holiday with, determined this year not to spend it alone. "For the past few years I have really not done much to celebrate Black Friday," ex...
Read full storyPutin stars in 'Paddle Of Rebuke' spoof lager ad
Brisbane, Australia - Russian leader Vladimir Putin has flounced off home from the G20 Summit after a spoof lager commercial sent him up as a 'drongo'.** The 30 second TV ad aired during Brisbane prime time featuring Vlad as the bore who 'can't s...
Read full storyJapan to sink to bottom of the ocean after leak in Kyoto found
The nation of Japan is panicking after it was discovered that the country had sprung a leak late last night and could sink to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. The leak was found by Shinji Ono, a credit controller from Kyoto who said he found it in hi...
Read full storyAre You A Serial Killer ? Our 10 Question Diagnostics Will Tell You Instantly
Answer Yes or No 1) Have you ever woken up in bed with a blood covered machete beside you? 2) Are you serving consecutive or concurrent life sentences for murder? 3) Do you hate your mother? 4) Have you ever tortured animals? ( excluding officially approved laboratory trials). 5) Do you think all women are painted harlots and instruments of the devil? 6) Do you frequently hide in bushes...
Read full storyNew Dyson Seatless Sofa Patent Targets Japanese Market
Hatari Dyson, the inventor of the bagless tea bag has come up trumps with another potential winner. With factories tooled up to produce billions of the innovative seatless "standing only" sofas, colossal post Christmas sofa orders have broken all re...
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