DC law firm brought to its knees as $475million paycheck becomes $15million fine
Washington DC - A famous Washington law firm that was on a 5% rake-off of a $9.5billion Ecuadorian pollution judgement is licking its wounds tonight after coughing up a $15million settlement to the litigation adversaries it had hoped to fleece. DC...
Read full storyVan Jones Blames Global Warming for Changing Benghazi Talking Points
Atlanta - Van Jones, former Green Czar for the Obama administration and current host on CNN's Crossfire, blamed Global Warming for the tampered with talking points regarding the Benghazi attack in 2012. He completely dismissed any nefarious invol...
Read full storyBundy offers militias to rescue Nigerian girls and help out in Ukraine or wherever more cowboy forces are needed
Notorious for his defiance of laws requiring tax for grazing cattle on federal lands, Mr. Cliven Bundy has advanced rapidly toward leadership in world affairs. Mr. Bundy is now offering to help United States military operations in special circumst...
Read full storyMark Twain Returns To Earth, Savages U.S.
Mark Twain, who famously lampooned Christianity and the lifestyle in the U.S., human sexuality, and indeed all human beings, has returned to earth. He has been reincarnated in the form of a blogger and is published by both the print and electroni...
Read full storyArrested 'cocaine sandwich' guy claimed it was just 'American frosting'
Benidorm, Spain - A Colombian national arrested in possession of a $10 'footlong' narcotic ham 'n' cheese club sandwich claimed the powdery white topping was nothing more sinister than yummy American frosting made from savory meringue and a macrobio...
Read full storyInterview with the Invisible Man
I didn't set out to actually interview the Invisible Man. My plan was to just go to the post office and pick up a load of stuff people can't e-mail. I didn't realize it at first, but there he was, just standing there in front of me in line. The Invisible Man. Who'd have ever thought that he got mail. To be fair, I wouldn't have even known he was there, except for the coughing and hacking, and t...
Read full storyBeauty. Is it really only skin deep?
Hoff here. The phrase goes "Beauty is only skin deep". Of course this came from of some whiny piss-ant guy who was bar-snubbed on a Saturday night by a drunk, hot-looking broad. It's always that way. It's always the guy who gets the cold shoulder. "Cold shoulder". That's a phrase your Grandpop used. It meant that someone wasn't going to get laid that night. It is a whiny phrase... the Beau...
Read full storySecretary Hagel proposes US military presence in all 196 countries of the globe
In another strong indication of the Obama administration's grasp of what's needed to defend US interests--plus maintaining consistency with Bush administration policies--Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel is fearful of the American public turning towar...
Read full storyBoko Harem's New All Girl Hit
The new Nigerian rock/pop group Boko Harem have released their sensational new album 'All Girls Banned'. The updating of the group's first great hit 'A Whiter Shade of Pale' has caused quite a stir in Africa. Group leader, the psychedelic Ibrahim...
Read full storyTybee Man's Wife Told Not To Mess With Air Conditioning Settings
In a strongly worded statement Wednesday, Tybee husband and hard-working father of two Clive Shwartz made it perfectly clear that his wife is not to mess with the the air-conditioning settings anymore. "If I've told her once, I've told her a thous...
Read full storyTeachers Replaced By Inmates In Cost-Cutting Move After 8 Levy Defeats
HOME ROOM CONFINEMENT, BELLAIRE, OHIO -- Following the defeat of an operating levy for the eighth time in four years, the Bellaire Local School District has been forced to take the drastic measure of laying off all its high school teachers and replac...
Read full storyBoko Haram stalking Obama First Daughters' school run motorcade?
Washington DC - Islamist kidnappers Boko Haram were the top suspects today when Malia and Sasha Obama's armor plated school run ground to a halt amid reports of a stalker tailing the five-car motorcade. Luckily the perpetrator turned out to be so...
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