Tybee Man's Wife Told Not To Mess With Air Conditioning Settings

Funny story written by D P Whitehead

Wednesday, 7 May 2014

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Tybee Wife Marge Shwartz - 'Useless' Says Husband

In a strongly worded statement Wednesday, Tybee husband and hard-working father of two Clive Shwartz made it perfectly clear that his wife is not to mess with the the air-conditioning settings anymore.

"If I've told her once, I've told her a thousand times," said a irritated Shwartz, 52, a senior technician at Gulfstream in nearby Savannah. "I have carefully calibrated the settings to 74 degress in the mornings and to 73 in the late afternoon. During the evening, when the temparture outside drops, it then reverts to 78 degrees. Yet every time she goes near the setting button, it's the same thing: I come home and find the whole thing completely out of whack and I am either freezing cold or sweating like a hog."

"I honestly don't understand why she can't get it through her thick stupid head not to always be messing around with stuff she doesn't understand," Shwartz said.

Shwartz's wife, homemaker and self published author Marge Swhwartz, 50, did not deny that she may have muddled with the settings, but did state that her violation of her husband's rule was unintentional.

"I think maybe when I was wiping around the, what do you call it? the little button thing on the AC control, I might have disturbed them a little," the embattled wannabe writer told reporters. "I didn't mean to mess it all up. I won't do it again."

"I'm sorry, Clive," she added.

More updates on this breaking story as we get them.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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