
The Worm Turns on Justin Bieber
Leslie Van Fleet, whom Justin Bieber likes to call the worm because he's always digging into stuff, has admitted that he and Bieber became chums when Bieber heard him snoring in a dumpster in Los Angeles. "Yes, I'm a genuine dumpster diver but the...
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'A Zimmer frame sequel?' Kelly McGillis demands amid reports Tom Cruise will star in Top Gun 2
New York - "Sure I've turned down the role of Charlie Blackwood," Ms McGillis told New York Toast reporters today, "still recovering from a dose of intimate hives after Cruise's last clinch 30 years ago." The 1986 box orifice smash-hit raked in a...
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Hillary Kills Polar Bear With Kick Boxing Skills!
"I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't taken all those self-defense classes Bill had me attending at nights while he was working late at the White House on one thing or another", stated former First Lady, Hillary Clinton. Clinton, who ma...
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Donald Trump Says Kathy Griffin Looks Like Ann Coulter But With Red Hair
NEW YORK CITY - Donald Trump has certainly never been shy about speaking his mind and his latest spouting proves that. Trump speaking to a reporter with American Spotlight Magazine said that he truly feels that Kathy Griffin needs to retire from t...
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Giant axis found in shopping centre
Shoppers at Gateshead's largest shopping centre had to leave hurriedly when the centre began to spin around faster than usual. A team of retail scientists specializing in shopping centres rushed to the scene, and pinpointed the exact centre of the...
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Royals still praying the Queen doesn't drop dead on April Fools
Ballybollox Castle, Berks - Bookies' odds of even money were hurriedly snapped up this weekend just as the UK government posted emergency briefs about the ageing Queen 'going down with the lurgi' after an earwig was found inside the royal's pants.
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Mila Kunis Is Having Ashton Kutcher's Baby - An Angry Demi Moore Says She Hopes Kunis Has Octuplets
HOLLYWOOD - Mila Kunis told reporters that now that she is pregnant with Ashton Kutcher's baby there isn't any woman in the good old USA who is more happier than her. She said that after a year of her boyfriend Ashton having to fight his bitter br...
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Putin Angry At Vietnam Puts A Halt To 2 Major Exports
MOSCOW - Russia's national news agency, Vodkavich is reporting that President Putin was highly offended at the government of Vietnam for sending their warship the VS Mekong Mongoose up to the East Siberian Sea. Vodkavich wrote that Putin came very...
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New York Times interview with Modi
New York: India's Right-wing party, Bharatiya Janata Party's prime ministerial candidate Mr. Narendra Modi talks to our Delhi correspondent M.A.Hussain. Although his detractors say that his interactions with media are fixed, and he knows in advance what shall go into print, but we have found Mr. Modi's interview remarkably candid and forthright. It will surprise his critics as well as his admirer...
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San Quentin State Prison Announces That Once A Month They Will Bring In Pole Dancers To Entertain The Inmates
MARIN COUNTY, California - A representative for The San Quentin Department of Corrections & Rehabilitation State Prison has just informed the news media of a trial program. The trial program will be implemented on Saturday, April 19, 2014. The...
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Pamela Anderson Talks About The Alleged Sex Tape of Her And Russell Brand
HOLLYWOOD - Pamela Anderson appeared on The Gorgeous Gary Busey Show to talk about her soon to be published book titled, Little Old Me and All Them Rock and Rollers. The book deals with her and the three men she married who are all musicians, Tomm...
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Aspen To Increase The Size of Their Airport Due To The Large Volume of Marijuana Passengers
ASPEN, Colorado - The city of Aspen is reporting that it will be doubling the size of Snowman International Airport. Airport Spokeswoman Chelsea Tallydollar told the members of the news media that just since the first of January, the volume of fli...
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A Teenager Living In California Says His MP3 Player Just Suddenly Blew Up
TARZANA, California - The Tarzana Police Department is investigating an unusual case where an MP3 player apparently exploded for no reason at all. According to the TPD Judd Littsenfino, who is 17-years-old said that he was in the parking lot of a...
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Ellen DeGeneres Totally Agrees With Megyn Kelly
HOLLYWOOD - Megyn Kelly flew out to the Left Coast to film a commercial for Empress Emma Estrogen Suppositories. While out there she also made an appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Ellen asked her about the comment she had made about a wee...
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A Woman Living In Baltimore Still Subscribes To The Newspaper
BALTIMORE - People are always saying that there is nothing new under the sun, but Durango Tucker, a writer with National Focus Magazine has just come across a new story. Tucker spoke to Baltimore hair stylist Ruby Shimashanski, 41, about her pecul...
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E.U. - Now You Can't Swat Scottish Midges - Has the World Gone Bureaucracy Mad ?
After Scotland is removed from the U.K. and is pronounced independent, E.U. conservation rules will come into force to protect all Scottish insects, particularly the Highland Midge or Gnat. E.U. police will stand next to roadside Pipers with the powe...
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