President Obama Orchestrates Worst Trade in History of Trades
Washington, D.C. - Most people consider the Boston Red Sox trade of future baseball god Babe Ruth for a cash loan to finance the No, No, Nanette musical to be the worst trade of all time. But No, No, Nanette, we have a new winner. Over the we...
Read full storySpy vs. Spy: Poison Shortage Triggers Suicide Crisis
Washington, DC - One of spying's essentials - the cyanide capsule - is in such short supply that a dangerous suicide backlog is developing at the CIA, the NSA, the Secret Service and other federal surveillance agencies. "Anyone assigned to spy fo...
Read full storyInterconnecting Two Words Finally Illegal
The career of Nicole Scherzinger might soon be over as the merging of two words together to make just one has now been made universally illegal. People creating words such as 'fabtastic', 'amazeballs' or ''grimp' (talented gimp) has led to governm...
Read full storyBush and Blair to host discussion on "The Iraqi Spring of Zero Three" subtitled "Full Disclosure on the Right Questions"
In the wake of the Chilcot Enquiry and decision to reduce Bush-Blair conversations on The Iraq War to "gists" and redactions, Mr. Bush and Mr. Blair are planning an open discussion at Carnegie Hall. The meeting will observe tight security. The au...
Read full storyKing Juan Carlos fabricates
Madrid, Spain - Spanish monarch King Juan Carlos of Spain has announced his intention to fabricate after 40 years on the Spanish throne. "New kids on the block must man the shopfront, younger royals with unblemished credit hysteries," 76 year-old...
Read full storyGun Club Buys Chinese Knife Companies To Corner Mass Murder Market In Mainland China
The National Gun Club, in a startling move, has bought up several mainland Chinese knife firms to encourage their nationals use of guns rather than knives. China has recently suffered a number of knife attacks at train stations and other public pl...
Read full storyPresident Orwell's Holy Environmental Decree
Washington DC (STT News) - The US stands on the brink of a hot darkness if a new law that would basically destroy the coal industry and shut down power plants across the nation, is put into action. Speaking from the Oval Office, President Orwell s...
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