Boris Johnson unveils plans for removing the north south divide
Boris Johnson has announced that if he is becomes leader of the Conservative Party, his first act will be to solve the North South Divide. "This is a terrible situation," said Johnson. "People in the North rarely get a chance to wash, work down pi...
Read full storyGOP Issues Fatwa Against Pope Francis
WASHINGTON, DC--The Republican Party has declared a Fatwa, or legal decree, against Pope Francis for his anti-capitalist statements over the last year and a half. The Fatwa came only days after the most recent attack on the controversial Pope, when S...
Read full storyAsk Dr. Billingsgate
BILLINGSGATE POST: This new feature represents all that is bad about question and answer journalism. However, I feel there is a need to answer some questions from notables, such as those below, in order to satisfy the prurient interests of my readers. Dear Dr. Billingsgate, I read with interest your story about the woman who crazy glued her unfaithful husband's testicles to the bed frame to...
Read full storyNow You can Sell your Vote!
WASHINGTON. VOTES FOR SALE by order of Congress. Yes folks, it's finally here, on the back of the 1997 North Carolina ground breaking voluntary sterilization for women called "Project Prevention" that invited young women to have themselves sterilized...
Read full storyTractor And Agricultural Chat Lines XXX
Sexy chat farmers: Phone: Who's a dirty farmer? 000 4312a My Big end has gone on Massive Ferguson 000 4313a Coupling muck spreaders 000 4313a Fertiliser fun 000 4314a Your turn in the barrel 000 4315a Silage (uncensored): Putting it about 000 4316a Close coupling 000 4317a Draw bar dynamics 000 4318a Jug sizes (metric) 000 4319a Deep pl...
Read full storyChristmas? Bah humbug! IS jihadis shoot down Santa's sleigh, take hostages
Syria - There will be trouble in Lapland tonight where emergency response sledges are being kitted out with a 'Trojan Horse' Santaclaus in retalliation for last night's attack. Witnesses say IS jihadis shot down what appeared to be an evil-looking...
Read full storyFarage To Make White Christmases In Likely UKIP Voting Areas Only
A new satellite weather controller has been privately launched by UKIP backers to bring white Christmases to areas which pledge support to their party. The satellite, launched by balloon to cut costs, focuses barometric pulses on cumulo snow-us...
Read full storyKim Jong un To Star In Snuff Movie
In a sensational genre swap, North Korean heartthrob, Kim Jong un is to appear as a snuff movie star. In the movie he is captured by twenty nymphomaniacs and tricked into making a soft core pornography movie. They plan to film his erotic death as he...
Read full storyKim Jong Un Protects North Korea from Internet
, colorful and rotund hereditary Communist dictator of North Korea, is actually a computer genius who personally masterminded the hack on Sony. He also personally designed the North Korean missiles, as well as possessing the nuclear physics knowledge...
Read full storySlimeballs of Salvation Make Demands
A group of men calling themselves Slimeballs Of Salvation are threatening to show up at various Sexy Susan Lingerie Shops and slime customers with boogers and worms unless Sexy Susan comes out with a line of lingerie for slimeball women. Slim...
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