A new satellite weather controller has been privately launched by UKIP backers to bring white Christmases to areas which pledge support to their party.
The satellite, launched by balloon to cut costs, focuses barometric pulses on cumulo snow-us clouds to cause a chain reaction of snow flake formation. UKIP denied this morning that it had anything against non white natural weather systems, but is thought to be trying to win votes by associating itself with White Christmases.
By using encrypted cards similar to those used by pay to view satellite channels, UKIP voters will be able to make rain fall on their neighbours if the neighbours are not suitable people to live next door to.
