Put Your Tit in the Wringer Caucus formed by GOP Congress
One hundred GOP Congressmen announced the formation of a new caucus late yesterday. At a jubilant and raucous press conference, Eric Cantor proudly affirmed the principles and direction of the new group. "Putting your Tit in the wringer is as America...
Read full storyCher sums it up best: 'Little Miss Meltdown's' got no talent
"Well we can't take it this week. And her friends don't want another speech. Hoping for a better day to hear what she's got to say. All about that personality crisis you got it while it was hot. But now frustration and heartache is what you got (That's why they talk about 'Personality!!!'). But now you're trying to be some - no you got to do some - wanna be someone who cow wow wows!!! But you thin...
Read full story'Cameron In Bed With Sister-in-Law' spoiler in Kate Middleton shagging row
London - Pics of Big Dave out for the count on some ho's double bed have reassured pubic opinion a Party spokesperson said tonight. The PM and his red Official Dispatch Box were snapped in flagrente after shagging Kate Middleton at a Master Bates...
Read full storyKid Mayor Recalled Following Comments About Toy Gun Control
Little Bobby Tufts, celebrity 4-year-old mayor of a small town in Minnesota, has been kicked out of office due to his tough stance on toy gun control. Mayor Bobby had been in office for only a few months, after running a juvenile campaign promising l...
Read full storyA World Series to Savor: Red Sox Against Dodgers?
Unlike the Los Angeles Dodgers, another former last place team with a payroll to choke a horse, the Red Sox wore T-shirts that said, "We Own the East" and celebrated their first-place finish with a typical spray of shaken champagne. Blowing the co...
Read full storyMajor League Baseball Will Start Testing Umpires For Performance Enhancing Drugs in 2014
NEW YORK CITY - The Major League Baseball Coalition on Drug Testing has just informed all MLB umpires that in 2014, before the start of the preseason they will be tested for PEB's. A representative with the MLBCDT Harrison Blittkinboro, 51, told t...
Read full storyThe Indianapolis Colts Are Considering A Name Change
INDIANAPOLIS - The owner and CEO of the Indianapolis Colts, James Orsay, has informed the team coaches and players that he is considering changing the team name. Orsay stated that he really and truly feels that the time is ripe to inject a new tea...
Read full storyWynonna Judd Reveals That The Cooking Show Plans Have Sizzled Out
NASHVILLE - Country music artist Wynonna Judd has just informed her fans and the music media that the plans for her cooking show have sizzled out like half a dozen slices of bacon. Judd said that the plans hit the kitchen floor after the shows exe...
Read full storyThe U.S. Congress May Be Filing A Lawsuit Against The Washington Redskins
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States Congress has issued a statement that they are fed up with the tens of thousands of complaints they are receiving regarding the name of the NFL's Washington Redskins. Congressman Tom Udall of New Mexico stated t...
Read full storyAn 8-Months Pregnant Los Angeles Woman Is Arrested For Weightlifting
LOS ANGELES - A spokesperson for the LAPD has said that a woman exercising is a wonderful thing, but a woman who is 8-months pregnant and lifting weights is not only not wonderful it is downright dangerous. LAPD Spokesman Hilario Fandango, 34, sai...
Read full storyHammet, Morrissey Split Amicably
CAIRO, ILLINOIS Local residents Moses Hammet and Chastity Virginia Morrissey finalized their divorce proceedings on Thursday of this past week. Astute Spoof News reporter Vlad D.M. Paylaw was able to interview the estranged couple in a Pierogie Pal...
Read full storyMicrosoft Announces Creation of iTeam Just To Piss Off Apple
(Silicon Valley, CA) - Microsoft announced their plans to create a new think tank division of the mega-billion dollar company, dubbed Project: iTeam. According to Chet Chitley, Junior iTeam Manager, "From now on whenever somebody says 'there's no...
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