Red Sox Star David Ortiz Heels on Command
The ever-reliable MRI has shown that David Ortiz, Red Sox designated non-hitter, has two bad heels. The doctors seem to be saying to Big Papi, "Heel thyself." Yes, this injury seems to have arisen from wearing 4-inch spike heels with his boa durin...
Read full storyOsborne arrested for 'stomping the green shoots of recovery'
Police have today cautioned George Osborne and issued an interim restraining order banning him from all garden centres, after reports that he was seen 'maliciously stamping on the green shoots of recovery'. Osborne is reported to have roamed the h...
Read full storyControversy at the Vatican as pink smoke canister found
An abnormal level of swearing and running about in fierce costumes has occurred within the Holy See over the past 48 hours after it was revealed that pranksters had smuggled a canister of pink smoke into the Vatican. The offending item was found secr...
Read full storyRed Sox Pitcher Aceves in the Thick of It
The World Baseball Classic featured a classic baseball brawl game, matching the neighbors of pan-America: Mexico and Canada. For the United States, it is sort of like mediating a fight between your younger brothers. On the one hand, you want to st...
Read full storyMother's Day Eve gardeners' vigil - as it happens
Gardeners up and down the country are on high alert due to the annual predation of daffodils by scroats planning to 'delight' their mothers. Supermarkets yesterday reported selling out of Red Bull, torch batteries and high-power water pistols (nor...
Read full storyTop Psychologist says Tories are mean because they've got "Dumped by Mummy Syndrome"
A top psychologist has today published an article outlining a new syndrome that sheds light on the cold hearted behaviour of several top tories. She calls it "Dumped by Mummy Syndrome" and she says its a syndrome that needs to be treated right a...
Read full storyIsle of Wight News - Don't Forget to Move your Calendar to 2013
Isle of Wight residents are reminded to move their calendars forward tonight to 2013. Despite the annual spring reminder and widespread use of the Internet there are many hold outs to sharing the 2013 calendar across the island with many communities...
Read full storyKarl Marx, HG Wells, Michael Foot, Martin Luther King, Gandhi and Michael Jackson Scream "Fight The Bedroom Tax" From Beyond the Grave
A top London Clairvoyant has tonight revealed that she has been visited by angry political figures from the past who are all horrified by the implementation of the bedroom tax. She says the first to contact her was the former Labour Leader Michae...
Read full story