Jesus Christ returns, is shot and killed in Las Vegas
Faithful believers around the globe were joyful then stunned as Jesus of Nazareth, long awaited Messiah of the Christian faith, returned to Earth, only to be subsequently shot and killed at close range in Las Vegas by unknown assailants. The Cla...
Read full storyScientists Discover That Dogs' Olfactory Systems Survive Death
ALEXANDRIA, VA--Scientists at the National Canine Laboratory in Alexandria, Virginia, have discovered that the olfactory systems of dogs survive up to six months after they have died. In an experiment in which the scientists picnicked on barbecu...
Read full storyUS whistleblower claims US National Archives gagged reports of 'bricked up train full of skeletons'
New York - Reports about a collapsed subterranean tunnel on a defunct spur of Manhattan's IRT trunk line containing a 'bricked-up train full of skeletons' were erased from US national records according to CIA whistleblower Edward Snowden. The fug...
Read full storyReclusive owner of world's newest, biggest, fastest superyacht 'lives in Long Island'
New York - David Geffen, Paul Allen, Larry Ellison, eat yer hearts out; the mystery owner of the world's latest, biggest, fastest, most expensive motor yacht ever built is a notoriously low-profile Big Oil tycoon resident on Long Island. And he's...
Read full storyQueen begins official 'Goodbye England's Woes' farewell tour
Sandringham, Norfolk - Festivities have kicked off early in her Fat Lady Blings farewell tour with some instant rough justice when a royal gardener found himself pushed into the Sandringham House lake for saying she'd 'milked it' for 60 years too lon...
Read full storyStacy Keibler Reveals The Real Reason Why She Dumped Boyfriend George Clooney
BEVERLY HILLS - Stacy Keibler went to visit her hair stylist FuFi Fondue, who is known as The Hair Stylist To The Stars. She has known Fondue for a long time and he is the only person in Tinsel Town who she allows to give her a bikini wax. Keib...
Read full storySamantha Ronson Divulges That She Wants No Part of A Lesbian Relationship With Lindsay Lohan
LOS ANGELES - Samantha Ronson has disclosed that she has received two letters from her ex-lesbian girlfriend Lindsay Lohan. Lohan is presently confined to a rehab clinic and has stated that she has never felt more alone. Ronson who was engaged...
Read full storyCharles Barkley Tells Shaquille O'Neal To Shut Up About Dwight Howard
MOBILE, Alabama - Charles Barkley traveled down to Mobile to visit some kinfolk whom he hadn't seen in a month of Sundays [i.e. 7 months and 2 weeks]. While he was down there he was asked by Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily what he t...
Read full storyEdward Snowden Says He Has 7,917 Documents On Justin Bieber Alone
MOSCOW - The notorious NSA Whistleblower, Edward Snowden, recently sat down at a Giggling Guacamole Mexican Restaurant in downtown Moscow and spoke with a reporter with Russia's national news agency Vodkavich. Snowden who appeared in good spirits...
Read full storyBeyonce Tells Rihanna To Cool It With The Tattoos
LOS ANGELES - Rihanna has always said that she greatly admires Beyonce and she considers her to be a big sister, but big sister is very angry with her Caribbean little sista. It seems that Beyonce has noticed that Ri-Ri is getting carried away in...
Read full storyKaty Perry Dissed By Friends For Getting Back Together With John Mayer
VENICE BEACH - According to several of Katy Perry's close friends the "I Kissed A Girl and I Liked It Singer" needs to make an appointment with a therapist. Perry has decided to get back together with John Mayer, the man who has already broken her...
Read full storyWell-Endowed Bikini Mom Kicked Out of A Water Park For Being Too Voluptuously Sexy!
INDEPENDENCE, Missouri - A 42-year-old woman identified as Madeline Schaffer took her 14-year-old daughter to The Shiver Me Timbers Water Park in Independence. Schaffer said that she and her little girl were having a fantastic time when all of a s...
Read full storyBruce Jenner Confesses That The Kardashian Females Are Driving Him "Krazy!"
HIDDEN HILLS, California - Bruce Jenner, 63, has said that his wife Kris really needs to see about naming their Hidden Hills mansion, Casa Summer's Eve. He made the remark because of the huge number of Kardashian females running around the place a...
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