Faithful believers around the globe were joyful then stunned as Jesus of Nazareth, long awaited Messiah of the Christian faith, returned to Earth, only to be subsequently shot and killed at close range in Las Vegas by unknown assailants.
The Clark County coroners office released the following statement, "We will conduct an autopsy in 72 hours. You know, if necessary."
Lead investigating detective Yezere Zara denies any similarities to the deaths of Tupac and Biggie Smalls, noting that Jesus was neither east nor west side gang affiliated.
Further details can be found in the Las Vegas Demon Precinct rep.
