NRA Members Suffering From Selective Hearing Disorder - I SAID, "NRA MEMBERS SUFFERING FROM HEARING DISORDER"!
Scientists have begun a study of NRA members who seem to have a vacillating hearing problem in which most of their die hard publicum hear certain things in clarity and then on others are fuzzy. "It is a really strange phenomena." stated Irving Ea...
Read full storyTrains could be given anti-flatulence re-design
Train carriages could soon be built to give better passenger protection against those engaging in extreme flatulence, following a three-year study. Scientists have devised a set of key changes that could contain explosive blasts and reduce the amo...
Read full storyCameron's Referendum Shock
The Tory leader, David Cameron, has announced that there will be a referendum to decide his reaction to the negotiations to reform Europe. He has pledged to abide by the decision of the majority. Whether to vote for or against Europe is up to the...
Read full storyScientist Find that Primates Don't Have Morality
Animals that are sensitive to the plight of others have no sense of morality because their reactions are based on an evolutionary process. What people see as human morality is actually the process of evolution. Human morality comes from the brain...
Read full storyBritney Spears Is Very Upset With Beyonce
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - The recently fired X-Factor judge Britney Spears is reportedly extremely angry at fellow singer Beyonce. The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle is reporting that Spears told The Views Whoopi Goldberg that she does not appreciate Beyon...
Read full storyNew Study Reveals That New Studies Really Not That Informative
A recent study conducted at the University of Georgia concluded that new studies are really not that informative and that those who study studies, though studious, studied too much. Speaking from his study, Professor Jason Barlow, who boasts an im...
Read full storyColorado Opens Up Hundreds of Pot Parks
DENVER - A new meaning has just been given to the old John Denver song "Rocky Mountain High." Since the state's voters voted to make marijuana legal, literally tens of thousands of young people have moved to The Rocky Mountain State from such plac...
Read full storyThe Reason Lindsay Lohan Refused The Dancing With The Stars Proposal
VENICE BEACH - A close friend of the highly troubled Hollywood starlet Lindsay Lohan reports that LiLo is more confused now than she has ever been. Bibiana Snowsnuggle, who first met Lohan at The Tarzan & Jane Petting Zoo in Tarzana back in 20...
Read full storyMall's erroneous "You Are Here" signs result in mass confusion
Several hundred shoppers became disoriented inside a local shopping mall this afternoon, saying erroneous "You Are Here" arrows led them to believe they were there when they really weren't. The confused shoppers were later safely led out of the mall...
Read full storyGOP Rep Steve Stockman's Impeachment Crusade of One
Everyone knows that I'm an extreme conservative. I'm 100% against the metric system. This is why I eat my sandwiches by the foot, while ordering my drinks by the liter. Today's hero of freedom is Representative Steve Stockman. Rep Stockman is the kind of man who is not afraid to threaten to impeach Obama if he continues with his executive orders. He is willing to stand up to tyranny despite...
Read full storySwedish day laborers at Ikea stores irk neighbors
Neighbors of a local Ikea store say they've had enough. They're complaining that an influx of Swedish day laborers is making their lives miserable. "They're out there as early as 6:00am with a carpenter's axe in hand, laughing loudly and chuggi...
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