LGBT Group Boycots Johnson & Johnson
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - A California LGBT advocacy group issued a press release today, announcing a boycott of all products produced by the multinational conglomerate, Johnson & Johnson. The group claims that KY brand His & Hers Jelly discrimi...
Read full storyObama to chill at Chilmark House
Massachusetts - The First Family will be vacationing from next weekend at a Chicago banker's $7.6 million holiday home in Chilmark, Martha's Vineyard, made famous in the 19th century by its unusually high percentage of deaf citizens. The town rece...
Read full storyLance Armstrong To Endorse Stretch Armstrong Action Figure
Former champion cyclist and admitted cheater Lance Armstrong is reportedly taking an offer from the original toy maker to endorse a revived Stretch Armstrong action figure. A spokesman says that the time is right to relaunch Stretch Armstrong, as...
Read full storyStepdad Overheard Complaining About Expenses During Disney Trip
Under pressure to provide an enjoyable vacation to Walt Disney World for his new wife and stepchildren, Ronnie Combs from Huntsville, AL, was overheard complaining on the third and final day of the vacation. While waiting in line at the Haunted Ho...
Read full storyLocal 4th Grader Circulates Petition to Decriminalize Peanut Butter Possession
Thomas Bonnie, a 4th grade student at Westside Elementary School in Decatur, IL, has started a petition to decriminalize possession of peanut butter and related products. Bonnie, who has been caught twice already this school year with peanut pro...
Read full storyNew Employee At Assisted Living Facility Uncomfortable With Sexually Charged Atmosphere
Gus Adams, recently hired at the new Assisted Living facility in Arlen, TX, has expressed concern that the job may not suit him. Adams, who works the night shift as a security officer, says that he is forced to listen to loud sexual encounters amo...
Read full storyNewt Gingrich Divorcing Wife To Marry Sofia Vergara
Former Speaker of the House and failed Republican Presidential nominee Newt Gingrich is reportedly dumping his current and 3rd wife Callista to marry "Modern Family" television star Sofia Vergara. In a special hour-long episode of "Entertainment T...
Read full storyWeigh To Go - Government To Tone Down Fat Kids Message
New NHS guidelines for tackling childhood obesity have been unveiled. The measures are to be introduced with immediate effect. It will now be a criminal offence for dieticians to write to parents to advise their child may be "fat", "obese" or a "s...
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