Newt Gingrich Divorcing Wife To Marry Sofia Vergara

Written by Moe Nightwalker

Sunday, 4 August 2013

image for Newt Gingrich Divorcing Wife To Marry Sofia Vergara

Former Speaker of the House and failed Republican Presidential nominee Newt Gingrich is reportedly dumping his current and 3rd wife Callista to marry "Modern Family" television star Sofia Vergara.

In a special hour-long episode of "Entertainment Tonight", Gingrich and Vergara plan to tell the world of their love. "What started as just another one of my innocent affairs has just blossomed into something truly special", said 70-year-old Gingrich.

Vergara, known for her voluptuous figure, says that Newt makes her feel "like a school girl with a crush on a friend's fat grandfather, but one with a really weird voice."

Gingrich said he would naturally seek an annulment of his 3rd marriage, as he had done successfully twice before with the Catholic Church.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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