New probe asks if Diana knew 'Jimmy Savile stuff'
London - 'Just like Jill Dando?' - A new nail in Princess Di's coffin has appeared with reports that she and Dodi might have been topped after all as many Brits still believe because she knew lots of Jimmy Savile stuff. The carefully choreographed...
Read full storyPentagon rubbishes reports that 5-star NATO general is slumming it in grace 'n' favor White House mansion
Washington AC/DC - "Uh, this sort of thing just doesn't go on in the United States," a Pentagon internal affairs spokesperson said this weekend as news of security raids across the Capital broke. First up a 6am sweep of the Presidential potting sh...
Read full storyThe GOP to Split into Three
At a strategy meeting in Boston by the Republican National Committee last week, Reince Preibus, the RNC Chairman, announced that the GOP, in acknowledging the political reality facing the splintered party, will split into three. The Republican brand...
Read full storyJose Mourinho updates his status once more
Jose Mourinho has rebranded himself again, following his return to Chelsea and Stamford Bridge for the first time since his acrimonious sacking by Roman Abramovitch in 2007. During his first spell, he told journalists he was the 'special one'. At...
Read full storyThe Foreign and Commonwealth Office (FCO) advise against all travel to Spain.
FCO, LONDON: Due to the significant increase in criminal activity and recent terrorist attacks, Shots were fired by a Spanish Guardia Civil vessel at a jet skier in British waters around Gibraltar, all British citizens are advised to leave Spain imm...
Read full storyToothpaste Squeezed From Top Of Tube 'Drama'
Police in Wiltshire are investigating an allegation that a member of the public squeezed a tube of toothpaste from the top of a tube instead of from the bottom, leaving an unsightly bendy bit in the middle of the tube, and lashings of toothpaste stil...
Read full storyEngland win over Scotland is 'actually a defeat' say critics
The England football teams controversial 3-2 win over auld enemies Scotchland is to be investigated by the FA and FIFA, after various overpaid journalists, broadcasters and ex-players pointed out that the overpaid over-pampered players of the English...
Read full storyPaulo Di Canio looks to sign right winger
Sunderland boss Paolo Di Canio has revealed to sources that he urgently needs to sign a right-winger before the transfer window closes. DI Canio joined the mackems on April 1st last season, replacing Martin O'Neill, who left the club to spend more...
Read full storyPaul McCartney: I think now is the time to admit that "Helter Skelter" really was about a race war
This August marks the 44th anniversary of the Tate-LaBianca murders, a brutal killing spree orchestrated by a lunatic named Charles Manson. Manson's justification for the murders was that a Beatles song--"Helter Skelter", largely written by me--prophesized a violent uprising in which blacks would murder most of the white race. Manson believed that the Tate-LaBianca murders would spark the...
Read full storyHearing on the hearing near riot and disorder over Manning
The courtroom was a siege of noise with a lot of rumbling and shouting, plus a continuing rap rap rap of the judge's gavel. "This hearing on the hearing will come to order! This court is now in session to review what's happening next door in the sentencing of Bradley Manning." Rumbling, grumbling, groaning accompanied the Honorable Augusto Beefsworthy as he rose, swaying on his feet, finger...
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