Paul McCartney: I think now is the time to admit that "Helter Skelter" really was about a race war

Funny story written by rvler9201

Sunday, 18 August 2013

image for Paul McCartney: I think now is the time to admit that "Helter Skelter" really was about a race war
Paul McCartney, race war advocate

This August marks the 44th anniversary of the Tate-LaBianca murders, a brutal killing spree orchestrated by a lunatic named Charles Manson. Manson's justification for the murders was that a Beatles song--"Helter Skelter", largely written by me--prophesized a violent uprising in which blacks would murder most of the white race. Manson believed that the Tate-LaBianca murders would spark the start of the revolution. I have never publicly addressed The Beatles' connection with the Manson murders, but I feel that now is the time to stand up and tell the world that Charles Manson was correct.

That's right: "Helter Skelter" was a thinly-veiled call for blacks to rise up and start murdering their white oppressors. I wrote it specifically in the hope that free-love hippies would initiate the annihilation of the white race in America. Charles Manson correctly interpreted my vision and the only reason I didn't cop to it publicly was because the negative publicity surrounding Manson clearly ended any chance of the song inspiring anything, and there was no point in undermining my continued efforts to destroy white society.

The story about the song being about a rollercoaster was something our press agent dreamed up when the song first came out. It's so obviously about racial genocide I have to admit I'm astounded nobody got it until Manson started talking about it. Aside from the angry and violent tempo, just look at the lyrics. "I'm coming down fast but don't let me break you", "You may be a lover but you ain't no dancer", "Look out, Helter Skelter". Come on. Put two and two together, people.

Not that I wanted any of Manson's victims to be brutally murdered. I mean, they were going to die anyway--they were white, after all--but Manson took the wrong path to make "Helter Skelter" a reality. I clearly imply that the best course of action would be to relocate white hippies under 30 to the desert, leaving American blacks at the mercy of white racists, thus leading to a war in which whites were exterminated, leaving only a few hundred hippies to rebuild society. Where Manson got the idea of murdering celebrities is beyond me.

The other Beatles knew all about this, by the way. We were all totally on-board with destroying white America and having the country ruled by California hippies. In fact, there was some disagreement over whether we were being too subtle with our message. George pushed particularly hard to keep the White Album's original title of Murder the White Overlords. Ringo's bit at the end, "I got blisters on my fingers" was actually a reference to the bloody suffering whites were going to endure for their crimes. That one really flew over everybody's head.

Of course, some of the more outlandish claims surrounding "Helter Skelter" aren't true. Contrary to what Manson thought, the song wasn't specifically directed for him. It was intended for all counterculture kids. Manson just happened to be the only one who figured it out. I admit that Manson wasn't the kind of guy you wanted to spearhead your apocalyptic race-cleansing, but to be fair, it didn't look like anybody else was going to do it. Also, the entire White Album wasn't a unified narrative of an upcoming racial war--only about half. The rest was about the C.I.A.'s involvement with the murders of John F. Kennedy and Malcolm X. Not to harp on it, but quite a lot of The Beatles' music advocates destroying white civilization. Basically everything we wrote after 1965.

Incredibly, nobody's ever asked any of us whether Manson's theory was right or not. I guess when you have a swastika tattoo on your forehead people just assume you're insane. But appearances can be deceiving. Manson totally interpreted "Helter Skelter" correctly. Plus, I wrote it. Paul, the lightweight Beatle. How on earth could the guy who wrote "Silly Love Songs" possibly be a genocidal revolutionary? Like I said, appearances can be deceiving. But just to be clear, "Silly Love Songs" is a utopian view of a world without white people.

I haven't stopped trying to destroy white America, for the record. Remember that song "Freedom" I wrote shortly after 9/11? That was a satirical assault on American imperialism that I hoped would inspire more al-Qaeda attacks. That didn't work either, which is why I no longer perform the song. "Nineteen Hundred and Eighty Five", one of my first singles as a solo artist was literally the same message of "Helter Skelter" with a more upbeat tone. Fun fact: most of the "Paul is dead" clues were actually "Kill the capitalists" clues. Some people really don't get artistic subtleties or hidden messages.

Except Charles Manson. Who couldn't even do the job correctly and probably permanently ruined my dream of a world without white domination.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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