Bob The Builder Appears On Fox News To Denounce Obamacare
Bob The Builder, one of the nation's most prominent and animated businessmen, appeared on the Fox News program "Fox and Friends" today to support the repeal of Obamacare. It was a stunning turnaround, following his years of work for PBS television,...
Read full storyProgressive's Flo to Marry GEICO gecko
The GEICO gecko is marrying Flo, the homely-yet-somehow-cute black-haired woman who seems to be Progressive Insurance's sole representative these days. The Aflac duck will serve as best man and Esurance's Erin will serve as Flo's maid of honor. A...
Read full storyGiant Mayan frieze is a 19th century fake 'just like Mitchell-Hedges crystal skull'
Holmul, Guatemala - A decorative stucco frieze dating from around AD 590 discovered last month inside a Guatemalan pyramid's foundations will probably turn out to be a 19th century hoax according to a UNESCO archaeology report published this weekend.
Read full storyPeople weigh less in Blackpool after Fracking test
The Iconic Blackpool Tower, the symbol of release for the Working Man, is two inches taller today after a Fracking experiment just outside Blackpool. "We think that some of the gravity in Blackpool has leaked out," said Guy Gordon, an anti-frackin...
Read full storyAtos insist Stephen Hawking is not disabled
Atos, the French organisation employed by the British government to see which British people are eligible for disability benefits, have decided that Stephen Hawking is not disabled, and is not allowed any benefits, despite the seventy-one year old ph...
Read full storyFAA To Allow Smoking On All Hijacked Flights
WASHINGTON, D.C.-The Federal Aviation Administration announced this afternoon that passengers aboard all hijacked commercial airlines would be allowed to smoke during those flights. "We realize that nothing calms down a smoker, like lighting one up,"...
Read full storyTony Stewart to Race with One Leg Tied behind His Back
Speedway, Indiana - Two major fractures are not enough to keep NASCAR's Tony Stewart out of the driver's seat. The versatile racer, who fractured his leg in two places in a minor-league dirt track event, has ordered his medical team to position h...
Read full storyGeoffrey Boycott's mother selected for 5th Ashes test
Well finally, the England cricket selectors have listened. In a surprise announcement today, it has been revealed that Mrs Boycott, better known to the cricketing world as 'my mum' from son Geoffrey's constant referral to her, will make her Englan...
Read full storyGreen Arrow (and Speedy)
Perhaps the pimple-face adolescent boys who moved their lips as they read the simple text and gazed at the colorful (mostly green) drawings didn't suspect, but anyone who'd ever read a story featuring the Caped Crusader and his sidekick, the Boy Wonder, would understand, at once, that the comic book hero Green Arrow and his assistant Speedy were obvious knockoffs of Batman and Robin. While the...
Read full storyIdentity of Da Vinci's Mona Lisa Confirmed As Roseanne, His Gymboree Teacher
Scientists in Florence, Italy, have confirmed the identity of Leonardo Da Vinci's model for his Mona Lisa painting, after centuries of speculation. Extensive DNA testing of an exhumed body, computer modeling, and meticulous employment records from...
Read full storyLeBron James Says He Does Not Pay Any Attention To Big Mouth Kobe Bryant
AKRON, Ohio - LeBron James sat in the living room of his home and chatted with Rufus Reno of Sports Balls Illustrated Daily. Reno asked the Miami Heat superstar what he thought about Kobe Bryant saying that he is the greatest player in the NBA.
Read full storySofia Vergara Insures Her Breasts For $2 Million Each
HOLLYWOOD - Several entertainment publications have noted that the most popular pair of Tinsel Town breasts belong to the star of Modern Family, Sofia Vergara. The Colombian bombshell just turned 41, in July and she has already been named the Most...
Read full storyArizona To Purchase An Authentic Egyptian Pyramid
PHOENIX - Word coming out of Governor Jan Brewer's office is that the state of Arizona is in the final stages of talks with the government of Egypt to purchase a pyramid. The governor was first approached about purchasing an Egyptian pyramid by Ma...
Read full storyPamela Anderson Concerned About Her Dwindling Sex Hormones
SAN FRANCISCO - Pamela Anderson flew into San Francisco to film a commercial for The Silly Sardine Seafood Restaurant. While in the City By The Bay she attended a concert by Camel Carl & The Desert Rag Headz. Afterwards she spoke with Gazeb...
Read full storyA-Rod Is Invited To Join José Canseco, Sammy Sosa, and Barry Bonds For Friday Night Cards
MIAMI - Former Major League Baseball player José Canseco has reportedly called up suspended New York Yankees player Alex Rodriguez. Canseco who was found to have used steroids during his playing days decided to call up A-Rod and invite him to join...
Read full storyCalifornia Bans The Rhythm Birth Control Method
SACRAMENTO - Recent census numbers show that the state of California is fast approaching the 40 million population mark. According to The Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency if the population number continues to increase at the present rate Californ...
Read full storySharon Osbourne Fires Both Barrels At Justin Bieber
HOLLYWOOD - Sharon Osbourne has never been one to hold back her feelings and she recently let them be known when the subject of Justin Bieber came up. The wife of Rock and Roll's Prince of Darkness, Ozzy Osbourne, had just finished her dinner at B...
Read full storyFOX News To Replace Sean Hannity With The Beautiful Megyn Kelly
NEW YORK CITY - Word out of FOX News land is that they have finally decided to replace Sean Hannity who has been embedded in the coveted 9 pm (Eastern) 8 pm (Central) time slot for a long time. And taking Hannity's microphone will be the pert and...
Read full storyLady Gaga Plans To Join A Nudist Colony
NEW YORK CITY - Lady Gaga has been out of the music scene for a while as she recovers from a tonsil transplant. The "Born This Way" singer told Calcutta Cotton with Music Moments Magazine that ever since she stopped performing concerts she has tak...
Read full story