Area man will eat that if you're not going to
DENVER, CO--Insisting that it is "the best part", Angelo Delagol offered to consume the uneaten and undesired portion of his tablemate's meal, sources from Outback Restaurant on 40th Avenue reported Sunday. "Really, you're not gonna eat it?" Delag...
Read full storyObama to wow voters with his Queen Elizabeth Argentine Tango vid
Washington - It worked a treat for George W Bush's 2004 re-election bid as voters lapped up Dubya twirling the royals 'like some half-demented Dervish' during his 2003 London state visit. This weekend the White House PR team was putting the final...
Read full storySpice Girls vs. Celtic Woman for World Jello Wrestling Championship
LONDON (ABSNN) - Fresh from their triumph at the London Olympic Games finale, the Spice Girls have decided to stay together long enough to challenge the Celtic Woman singing group for the Jello Wrestling Championship of the Western World. Fans of bo...
Read full storyRomney: Face To Darker Face
Mitt Romney was caught with his pandering pants down recently, as he held a town hall-type of meeting with potential Latino voters. The problem was that he showed up with a visibly darker complexion, almost as if he had self-tanned to better fit in...
Read full storyNYT publishes KKK cartoon, riots erupt in eleven southern states
Riots erupted in eleven southern states today after The New York Times published a derisive cartoon linking the GOP and The Tea Party to the Klu Klux Klan. The cartoon showed three Klan members in white sheets and was labeled Larry, Curley, and Moe.
Read full storyChad Ochocinco Escapes Going To Jail
DAVIE, Florida - Last month former NFL wide receiver Chad Ochocinco, in a span of 48 hours, headbutted his wife Evelyn, got released by the Miami Dolphins, lost his unaired reality show, and was hit with divorce papers. Mr. 85, was found guilty of...
Read full storyHelen Mirren To Replace The Queen For This Year's Televised Christmas Day Speech!
The traditional Christmas Day speech broadcast to the nation each year by the Queen is to be performed this year by ... Helen Mirren! Helen approached the BBC to suggest she replace the Queen this year after hearing that BBC chiefs had told the Qu...
Read full storyRussia's Putin still as "Studly" as ever at 60
MOSCOW (ABSNN) - Vladimir Putin may be getting along in years, but he "is still as studly as ever," he said in an interview with geriatric reporter, Martin Shuttlecock. "He's but a lad, a mere slip of a boy," Shuttlecock wrote. "Vital, I'm vita...
Read full storyFive reasons to worry about next week
Now that it's the weekend (which you're happy about), you can look back on the week that's almost over and come to the conclusion that it was pretty much like the weeks before it: It sucked (which you're not that happy about). But just when you thought it couldn't get worse, Monday is only hours away, and there's reason to believe that next week is really gonna suck. Here are five reasons:...
Read full storyDivorce Court Looms for Josh McDaniels and Wes Welker
Divorces can be messy, and the New England Patriots seem about formally separate in prelude to the final breakup. Perhaps the brass of New England's football team should take a lesson from their benighted wide receiver of last season, the cursed "...
Read full storyKate's Titty Kerfuffle Ignites Duke's Bladder Problem
Strees from Princess Kate's recent topless photos is said to be the cause behind the latest flare up of the Duke of Edinborough's bladder problem with palace insiders saying he now has "super urinary powers" enabeling him to hit the toilet bowl from...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Denies Hit and Run
NEW YORK CITY - Lindsay Lohan seems to attract trouble wherever she goes. Hollywood Innuendo's Fajita San Guacamole stated that Lindsay could be sitting in a convent having dinner with a bunch of nuns and she would probably be accused of spiking...
Read full storyDancing With The Stars: Maksim Chmerkovskiy Says Either Len Goodman Goes Or He Does
VENICE BEACH - Dancing With The Star's professional dancer Maksim Chmerkovskiy was recently seen sunbathing with his lovely girlfriend fellow DWTS pro Peta Murgatroyd. Chmerkovskiy, who is regarded as The Bad Boy of The Ballroom, has not tried to...
Read full storyX-Factor's Demi Lovato Talks About Rehab
BEVERLY HILLS - Twenty-year-old Demi Lovato is the youngest of the four X-Factor judges. She recently sat down with Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight at The Gunfight At The OK Corral Steakhouse in Beverly Hills. Demi talked to de Gallo abo...
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