Strees from Princess Kate's recent topless photos is said to be the cause behind the latest flare up of the Duke of Edinborough's bladder problem with palace insiders saying he now has "super urinary powers" enabeling him to hit the toilet bowl from as far away as fifty metres.
"It's quite extraordinary" said a palace worker who saw the Duke slip behind a tree during his usual afternoon walk through the royal gardens "At first I thought he's just popped in for a quick wee when all of a sudden this fire hose like burst went hurtling through the air smashing into a tree nearly thirty metres away" The witness says that while no people were hurt in the incident some of the local wildlife were not so lucky.
"He killed a squirrel" the source claimed
While another stint in hospital is a possibility experts state that stress along with the Duke's current bladder infection would be the cause of his "super urinary powers" although the ailment is short term.
"He'll probably be killing squirrels for only another day or so" said urinary expert Professor Carl Legsaloft "but when all this nonsense about Kate and her titties dies down I'd be willing to bet that he'll be back to normal and splashing it all over his slippers before he knows it.
