Mitt Romney gets mammogram to get woman's vote
First Mitt Romney goes with a darker make up to sway the Hispanic vote, now he has taken to getting mammograms to sway the female vote. Mitt Romney has has stepped into the radiology lab and put his breasts on the slab. Mitt Romney has come out ad...
Read full storyCrab Gang Leader Isn't So Tough After Molting
Blue Point crab, Bruno Pinchaletta, was the meanest, biggest, baddest , mother fucker that ever squirted sideways in the brackish waters of the southern Chesapeake bay. The super jumbo sized crustacean ran the biggest pinching racket on the US's east coast outside of the White House's Secret Service pinching the local scenery in Columbia. Unlike the Secret Service, Bruno's gang did much more t...
Read full storyTrouble with Dirty Harry's Curve
If you want an antidote to John Henry's Red Sox sabermetrics, you need to see Clint Eastwood blow them away. Well, not exactly. That would have been the best ending to the recent Eastwood movie, having Clint come into the computer center of MLB wi...
Read full storyThe SS Travolta Has Hit The Rocks
PARIS - John Travolta and wife Kelly traveled to Paris, The City of Lights to get away from the bright spotlights of Tinsel Town. But they soon learned that the Parisian lights are probably much more brighter than those of Hollywood. It seems t...
Read full storyUFO blue ice dumped on Balmoral
Scotland - Prince Philip has blamed carnivorous aliens for last night's 'meatier shower' that bombarded Balmoral with tons of firey space-sh*t. The equinoctial dump saw a huge dollop of methane-rich ET by-products ejected over Royal Deeside by a m...
Read full storyLA Galaxy to bid for London Olympic Stadium
Major League Soccer side LA Galaxy have joined the bidding process to play at the Olympic Stadium in East London, England. They join bids from local football franchises West Ham United and Leyton Orient, plus one from Formula One chief Bernie Ecc...
Read full storyNew Star Wars book exposes explosive secret
An explosive new book about the goings on behind the scenes on the set of Star Wars revealed that Darth Vader was actually two people in the costume, one who was permanently asleep, hence you could hear the breathing... Dave Prowse, who was credit...
Read full storyBirth certificate typo reshapes Mitt Romney's campaign
Washington, DC - A typographical error discovered on Mitt Romney's birth certificate yesterday has reshaped the Republican nominee's presidential campaign. Due to the omission of a single, small "m," the document defines Romney as "a Moron" instea...
Read full storySidebar of Shame Throwaway Celebrity Gossip 22nd September 2012
Kanye West 'terrified' of sex video with Kim Lookalike going public. Time to cover the Shaggy song "It Wasn't me" TOWIE star Lauren Goodgier turns up late for her won birthday party. Not like a reality tv star to miss their 15 minutes?! Emma Watson: I thought love had to be painful after reading Shakespeare. Emmy hun, your confusing love with bondage. Kim Kardashian does promotional wo...
Read full storyDavid Cameron denies calling Nick Clegg a pleb
Conservative toff Prime Minister David Cameron today furiously denied calling mild mannered Liberal Democrat Deputy Prime Minister Nick 'good egg' Clegg a pleb today after the Stun newspaper splashed the story on its front page. Yellow blooded ver...
Read full storyGallup poll: 63 % of likely voters feel sorry for Romney. Seismic vote shift among liberals!
A new Gallup poll published this morning indicates that Mitt Romney has surged in the polls particularly among liberals who now favor him by a margin of 83% to 15% for Obama. "It's a sympathy vote," states the poll. "Liberals are always for the under...
Read full storyFucking Plebs Revolting
Gang warfare is feared in the streets of London following Andrew Mitchell's reference to a policeman at Downing street as a 'fucking pleb'. The government's new Chief Whip believes the police are lower class people. Gang leader David Cameron was q...
Read full storyRomney injured "milking" a bull in Iowa
COW PATTY, IOWA (ABSNN) - Mitt Romney attmpted to show farmers he was one of them at a dairy farm in this small Iowa village Saturday morning. It didn't turn out well for the Republican nominee. He was injured while "milking" a bull that was isolat...
Read full story47% of the 47% boo Ryan off stage at AARP meet and greet
OLD FOLKS HOME, FL (ABSNN) - Mitt Romney wrote off 47% of all Americans as entitlement leeches, and his running mate, Paul Ryan, pissed off 47% of that 47%, namely the elderly, in a speech today. Congressman Ryan was booed off the stage at a Meet an...
Read full storyKate Middleton To Appear on Gordon Ramsay's Hell's Kitchen
HOLLYWOOD - It is now official that Kate Middleton has agreed to appear on an upcoming episode of Gordon Ramsay's reality show Hell's Kitchen. A spokesperson for the show identified as Loretta Sue Piffkinhaus, 43, has said that Ramsay was finally...
Read full storyAngry Senior Citizens Shout Down Ron Ryan
NEW ORLEANS - Ron Ryan faced the toughest audience of his political campaign when he spoke before elderly members of the American Association of Retired Persons. Little Bunny Foo Foo, as Ryan is called by most Democrats and some Republicans, was s...
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