FBI: 'Honey Boo Boo is actually 37-years-old!'
TOAD LICK BRANCH, Georgia (ABSNN) - The Atlanta office of the Federal Bureau of Investigations revealed today the results of a five-month-long probe into the star of TLC's Tots and Tiaras, Alana Thompson. FBI agents testified today before a federal...
Read full storyIn Homage to Felix Baungartner's Leap from Space, Local Man Jumps Off Upturned Bucket In Own Back Garden And Nobody Gives A Toss
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, announced today that Felix Baumgartner wasn't the only man on the planet pushing himself to the limits of human endurance, as Shuttlecock himself became involved in pushing personal boundaries to the limit. As Felix...
Read full storyMitt Romney: The Grinch Who Stole Christmas And Shipped It To China
Like the Grinch, seems Willard "Mitt" Romney will have some fast explaining to do to Santa Claus for stealing Christmas and sending Sensata Technologies from Freeport, Illinois, to a slave labor factory in China. Thanks to a recent Bain Capital pur...
Read full storySalmond Accepts Defeat in Scottish Referendum Negotiations
A deal setting out terms for a Scottish independence referendum was signed today by Prime Minister David Cameron and First Minister Alex Salmond. The settlement followed months of hard negotiations in which Mr. Salmond was finally forced to accept w...
Read full storyMore shocking abuse at TV studios
More shocking stories of abuse from the studios of 80's TV came out today when one of the stars of 'Play school' told of years of abuse at the hands of an evil predator. Little Ted now in his late 50's and living at a toy museum told reporters to...
Read full storyAudley Harrisons Career KO'd
Former Olympic gold medalist Audley Harrison has decided to retire after yet another embarrassing performance in the ring. His "fight" with British and Commonwealth heavyweight title holder David Price lasted a pathetic 82 seconds before Harrison...
Read full storyObama shocks rivals, US citizens and even himself by resigning his post and withdrawing from upcoming November presidential election
In a stunning move on the eve of tonight's second Presidential debate, scheduled to be held at Hofstra University in New York, President Barack Obama cancelled his appearance and announced he is withdrawing from the November 6th election, conceding t...
Read full storyA Londoner's guide to Yorkshire
With decentralization many people from London are finding themselves in strange primitive parts. One of the most frightening is Yorkshire. Yorkshire folk are very tribal and don't take to strangers. They especially dislike people from Lancashire and Wales. Although they can tolerate people from London they are not always friendly. Yorkshire folk speak in the Genitive tense all of the time.
Read full storyCruise will quit Scientology to become a 'Moonie'
LOS ANGELES (ABSNN) - TheSpoof.com was granted an exclusive interview with Tom Cruise today. The actor revealed he is leaving the Church of Scientology and will become a "Moonie." "Yes, it is true, I am leaving Scientology to become a 'Mooni...
Read full storyTim Tebow in shock move
New York Jet's backup quarterback Tim Tebow is to quit professional football. The former Florida Gators and Denver Broncos star told shocked reporters after the Jet's 35 - 9 win over the Colts. "I feel pretty much redundant here in New York." Tebo...
Read full storyPatsies All Wet in Seattle
That noise was not a windy gust, but the gusty wind of the fans in Seattle. Combined with a light drizzle that fell with more soak than you get in a Nor'easter, Tom Brady was drenched in bad throws. We thought Mt. St. Helens was blowing its top, b...
Read full storyElvis Presley to sell his house!
Elvis Presley has decided to sell his house in Beverley Hills because he is sick of all of his fans turning up on his date of birth and death and smothering the gates with dead flowers (appropriate!). Elvis who still roams around the house and in...
Read full storyJerry Springer's New Reality Show Will Be Crazy-As-Hell!
CHICAGO - Jerry Springer is regarded by many in the television industry as the Father of Televised Free-For-All's. His tabloid talk show The Jerry Springer Show which premiered in 1991, soon became a setting for the untamed world of the dysfunctio...
Read full storyFrenchman conquers sewers
Paris, France. In emerging, breaking but slightly disjointed news, a Frenchman, Louis De O'dour, has become the first man to navigate the entire household sewer system of every residence in Paris. He completed the journey after four weeks of concentr...
Read full storyThe Madonna - Russell Crowe Feud Gets Ugly
NEW YORK CITY - There is no one in the World of Celebrities who loves to get into angry arguments, bitter clashes, venom-spewing squabbles, and antagonistic altercations more than Madonna. For some strange reason known only to her, the 54-year-old...
Read full storyIran Announces: Here Comes The Grandmother of All Oil Spills
TEHRAN, Iran - A highly personal in-house memorandum between Iran's Ayatollah Abdul Musaweewee Abacus, 67, to Ayatollah Ali Mohammad Open-Sesame, Jr., 71, has been intercepted by CIA operatives and forwarded to President Obama via FedEx. The extre...
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