Jerry Springer's New Reality Show Will Be Crazy-As-Hell!

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 15 October 2012

image for Jerry Springer's New Reality Show Will Be Crazy-As-Hell!
One of the sponsors of Springer's show will be Olympia Gold Light Beer.

CHICAGO - Jerry Springer is regarded by many in the television industry as the Father of Televised Free-For-All's.

His tabloid talk show The Jerry Springer Show which premiered in 1991, soon became a setting for the untamed world of the dysfunctional element.

Springer's nice political talk show was reborn as an out-of-control, chamber of chair-throwing, bleep-bleep cussing, fist-fighting, hair pulling, and clothes ripping.

The former mayor of Cincinnati, brought in former marine and Chicago Police Officer Steve Wilkos to be his shows head of security.

And the 6-foot-3-inch Wilkos ended up giving lots of the rowdy boys some pretty mean bumps and bruises.

Springer, who was born in London, often said that his job was to give the people what they wanted. He looked upon himself as a businessman simply providing a service.

The 68-year-old was recently interviewed by Tahiti Zeppelin with Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres and asked if he himself had ever been hit with one of the flying chairs.

He grinned and replied that he came close but Steve was damn good at deflecting the chairs. Jerry did say that his producers estimated that they would go through about 28 to 33 chairs per week.

Springer pointed out that the show had gotten a pretty good deal from one of Chicago's top chair manufacturers The Sit A Spell Chair Company and actually received a 45 percent discount.

Jerry told Miss Zeppelin that he has developed a brand new show for The Epitome Television Network and the show should premier one week before Christmas.

The show is a type of musical chairs reality show titled Okay, When The Music Stops Everyone Pick Up A Chair And Toss The Son-of-A-Bitch.

At the start of the show there will be one dozen participants. At first the contestants were going to all wear protective helmets but the producers figured that to make it more exciting they would drop the helmets.

Springer said that when it gets down to the final two contestants, they will both be blindfolded and once the music stops they will be allowed to each go for the chair.

He explained that the one who ends up with the chair will win a five days, five nights all expenses paid trip for three to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico where they will be the guests at Ryan Seacrest and Steven Tyler's Puffy Taco Resort & Casino.

The second place finisher [i.e. the loser] will have all of his or her medical bills paid for by the show.

SIDENOTE: Jerry Springer is reportedly suing the state of Iowa because the state governor has said that he will not allow Springer's new show to be televised in his wonderfully peaceful state.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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