A Struggle In Syria
David Cameron and some dude from France (a President? We don't know it's France it could be anything) have decided that they will arm the rebels in Syria, but only with "defensive weapons". They stress that this will help bring a quick end to the blo...
Read full storyOscar the Grouch Gets New Home
Manhattan, NY - Big Bird is not the only one relieved about the outcome of the 2012 Presidential election and the defeat of Mitt Romney, who vowed to cut PBS funding. The Sesame Street Corporation was so elated that they were not going to be put out of business, that they handed out Christmas bonuses early. In addition to Big Bird's new yellow Ferrari 458 Spider and Burt and Ernie's custom dia...
Read full storyHelen Flanagan Haunted By Traumatic Supermarket Excursion
Coronation Street's Helen Flanagan - also known as Rosie Webster, and the one who constantly bottles it on 'I'm A Celebrity! - Get Me Out Of Here!' today revealed in an exclusive interviewwith Skoob Entertainment News stalwart Buffty Ginslinger, that she was left deeply traumatised following a visit to Asda. In Bolton. "It was terrifying," Ms Flanagan related to Ginslinger. "An absolute nightma...
Read full storyMayor Bloomberg to Allow Central Park Camping
Manhattan, NY - After taking some heat for his handling of Super Storm Sandy, Mayor of New York City, Michael Bloomberg, opened up Central Park to displaced residents, allowing them to camp legally in certain sections of the park for the first time s...
Read full storyGhostly image of Vince Foster materialises on President Clinton Library window
Little Cock, Arkansas - "Must have been a classic two-bullet suicide," a former FBI investigating officer tweeted this morning as scores of Secret Service agents were spotted scurrying around with buckets and mops frantically trying to erase the ghos...
Read full storyMatt Lauer - The TV Grinch Who Stole Christmas
NEW YORK CITY - The Peacock Network will soon have to layoff some of its Today Show employees in order to help offset the tremendous amount of money that they are paying host Matt Lauer. A spokesperson for NBC stated that "The Diva" Lauer is paid...
Read full storyKarl Rove Pays To The Piper After Dancing To The Music In A Darkened Washington Back Alley
Karl Rove, weasel extraordinaire and famous shill for the Republican Party, was found unconscious, beaten half to death and left lying in a Washington alley early this morning. Surveillance tapes retrieved from security cameras around the neighborhoo...
Read full storySarah Palin Moving Out of The United States
WASILLA, Alaska - Sarah "Snowflake" Palin has informed GOPicky Magazine that she is making plans to leave the country. The former governor of Alaska, who quit in the middle of her term to concentrate on her reality TV show as well as participating...
Read full storyEnergy giant that put bulls up sees profits surge
A huge Scottish Hydro giant filled with energy carried a pair of Highland bulls all the way up Ben Nevis yesterday. Thousands turned up to witness this amazing feat, which was filmed by Sky News and several American film companies. Mega-biologi...
Read full storyAVB is CBC (Completely Batshit Crazy)
"Can we play you every week" was the chant that echoed around the Emirates stadium at 5pm on Saturday. Unfortunately for Arsenal, but fortunately for Gareth Bale, no Arsenal can't play Tottenham every week. A majestic Arsenal performance was capped o...
Read full storyPot Smokers Concerned After Announcement "No More Twinkies"
Following Friday's announcement that Hostess Brands was shuttering its facilities and ceasing operations, sales of the company's flagship product, Twinkies, have increased 10 fold - with some paying up to $550 for just one crème filled cake. T...
Read full storyA day in the life!
This magazine article is dedicated to our local tramp called Kninky by the local inhabitants in this down to earth, Dutch village called Tegelen. "A day in the life" by Jaggedone "Got up, got out of bed (two copies of the local newspaper De Limburger Dagblad and a park bench, if you're lucky!), didn't put a comb across my head because I couldn't find one in the rubbish bins yesterday" "Ea...
Read full storyRepublican Party To Drop The Term Red States
NATCHEZ, Mississippi - One of the directors of The GOP National Policy Making Commission has just made a monumental statement. Arlo "Dimples" Puffpowder, 73, informed members of the political news media that he has initiated a movement to drop the...
Read full storyDeion Branch Rides into the Breach-Again!
Deion Branch has been sent packing by the New England Patriots, though some wonder whether he is packing his steamer trunk or just an overnight bag. Fans may want to send up a red flag on the departure of one of Tom Brady's dearest friends. It mig...
Read full storyTebow Not Praying, Just Super Hung Over.
NY - Last weekend in Seattle versus the Seahawks, the NY Jets suffered yet another pummeling loss that left Tim Tebow and his teammates feeling a little punch drunk. Avid fans of the NFL's most famous second-stringer however, say that punch drun...
Read full storySweatin' Out Satan - America's struggle against evil and obesity
Actual story from the Washington Post: WARSAW, Poland, Feb. 11 (UPI) -- Roman Catholic regions of Europe are seeing a resurgence of exorcism, the rite of expelling evil spirits from tortured souls. Informal efforts to train more exorcists began under Pope John Paul II when the Vatican formally revised and upheld the rite for the first time in nearly 400 years, The Washington Post reported Mo...
Read full storyTeen sentenced to ten years in church chooses Church of Satan
MUSKOGEE, Oklahoma (ABSNN) - When Oklahoma District Judge Mike Norman sentenced a teenaged youth who caused his friend's death in a car crash to church for ten years, he likely thought the boy would choose an evangelical church like the Nazarenes or...
Read full storyHurtful comments at the Dorking Dance Off
A massive argument has erupted at the annual Dorking Dance Off held at Dorking Town Hall. It started just after the tango as the Bollywood dancers came in while the ballet dancers waited for their turn. As heated looks were exchanged, the belly dance...
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