Republican Party To Drop The Term Red States

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 18 November 2012

image for Republican Party To Drop The Term Red States
Many GOP members associate the term Red State with red wine. (Photo courtesy of Rush Limbaugh).

NATCHEZ, Mississippi - One of the directors of The GOP National Policy Making Commission has just made a monumental statement.

Arlo "Dimples" Puffpowder, 73, informed members of the political news media that he has initiated a movement to drop the long held Republican designation which refers to Republican states as red states.

The Democratic Party counterpart designation is of course referred to as the blue states.

When asked why the GOP had decided to make this amazingly significant change, Puffpowder replied that there were several reasons which precipitated going in a new name direction.

One thing that he stressed was the fact that the word Red has always been associated with negative things such as in school, any mistakes on reports have always been marked in red.

He also noted that the word Red for many symbolizes Communist Russia and even China.

Puffpowder pointed out that the color red is also the one color out of the hundreds and hundreds of colors that will enrage a fighting bull in a professional bullfight quicker than any other color known to man.

Another negative aspect of the color red is that it is used by corporations to signify that a company is not doing good [e.g. our corporate financial numbers are in the red.]

He was asked what his party plans on replacing the symbolic state color of red with.

Puffpowder put down his bottle of Big Red Zero Soda and replied that a select committee of 13 members will be appointed and they will be charged with the task of choosing a brand new color.

SIDENOTE: Puffpowder stated that he personally feels that the GOP's best bet would be to replace the term red state with the term pink state. He noted that this will certainly sew up a lot of the female voters (no pun intended).

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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