Written by Backandtotheleft

Sunday, 18 November 2012

David Cameron and some dude from France (a President? We don't know it's France it could be anything) have decided that they will arm the rebels in Syria, but only with "defensive weapons". They stress that this will help bring a quick end to the bloodshed, if they mean speeding up the death of Assad's troops then yes.

William Hague (who, it seems to Back and to the Left news, has just been itching to order airstrikes) said at a conference:

"I think the situation in Syria is rapidly deteriorating and if we don't send in troops soon there might not be any civilians left to die by accident. We want to send the rebels "defensive weapons" so they can be on more of a level playing field with Assad's troops."

Back and to the Left news wonders how many of those weapons end up in Afghanistan shooting at British troops at the end of the year.

Before we walked out of the press conference, muttering things about warmongering, William assured us that "defensive weapons" were the best way to help the people in Syria.

"Although you can't eat or drink a "defensive weapon" you could kill a soldier who was carrying a beef burger and they could eat that."

Back and to the Left news felt reassured after that statement, after all surely a "defensive weapon" won't blow the legs off a seven year old child if it misses it's intended target. Will it?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Syria, William Hague

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
64 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more