Monkeys sue football fans for acting like idiots!
After this weeks disgraceful behaviour by UK football fans who thought they were funny by acting like monkeys, the Monkey union, called Apes Anonymous, have decided to sue any persons attempting to pathetically copy the real thing; monkeys that is.
Read full storyNew use for underwear store
A former underwear shop in Harrogate, has been given the go-ahead for a change. The previous owners, Thongs'n'Stuff, specialized in second-hand lingerie. But the new business will be re-named S&M, and will feature masks and whips on the botto...
Read full storyTown's shopping mall plans put on ice
Plans for a massive new shopping mall in Arbroath have been put on ice. A somewhat frosty approval for the 20-megastore complex was given begrudgingly by the Highlands District Council in February last year. But local traders argued that they didn...
Read full storyGovernor Chris Christie hung in effigy by GOP!
Governor Chris Christie was hung in effigy this morning at the GOP headquarters in the Nation's capital. Reince Priebus, chairman of the Republican Party, spared nothing in his criticism of the Governor who had given the key note speech at the GOP co...
Read full storyJeb Bush stands by his banana fritters recipe
Tallahassee, Fla - Controversy still rages over the 1998 gubernatorial bake-off that saw Jeb Bush's yummy snacks unfairly dubbed as nothing more than cheapskate yellowcake. A letter to the influential Floridian True Grits cookery magazine claims e...
Read full storyCrisp packet hedgehog "bloody annoyed" at so-called rescue
A hedgehog widely reported to have been saved after being stuck in a crisp packet in Weston Super Mare has hit back at his rescuers, saying he had never asked for help. The hedgehog, given the name Crispin by the team that extracted him from a rai...
Read full storyMadonna Encouraging Teenage Fans to Vote
Veteran pop star Madonna who drew boos and triggered a walkout by several concertgoers after she touted President Barack Obama on her "MDNA Tour" in New Orleans, encouraging fans to vote for him has now asked all her teenage fans over the age of 18 t...
Read full storyRajon Rondo: Punky Booster?
Dwyane Wade called the Celtic guard nasty names after the first game of the NBA season. Using the old 'sticks and stones' aphorism, Rondo declined to be offended by the harsh characterization of saying Rondo had a "punk play" arsenal. After being...
Read full storyGov. Chris Christie: I'm Voting For President Obama
BRIGANTINE, New Jersey - New Jersey Governor Chris Christie rode with President Obama in the official presidential helicopter Marine One. The two men took a tour of the devastation that Hurricane Sandy caused in Governor Christie's state. As th...
Read full storyKristen Stewart Fired!
OAXACA, Mexico - The Twilight Saga actress who says she has never been as depressed as she is now has just become even more depressed. K-Stew was only in her second day of shooting her latest motion picture Bonfire - The Joan of Arc Story, when sh...
Read full storyX-Factor's Drew Ryniewicz - The Opening Act For The Rolling Stones
NEWARK, New Jersey - This year marks the 50th anniversary of The Rolling Stones who have been rocking and rolling since 1962. Sir Humphrey Baronfeister, a spokesperson for The 50 Years and Counting Tour stated that the geriatric band will only be...
Read full storyPaul Ryan: Madonna Talks Too Much!
YPSILANTI, Michigan - Paul Ryan's Widow's Peak Vice-Presidential Campaign Bus Tour pulled into Ypsilanti and the second that Ryan got off the bus he immediately went into a song and dance speech regarding the singer known as Madonna. Political Sal...
Read full storyTea Party Raptured, Republican Leadership Converts from Christianity
Every member of the Tea Party, Tea Party Patriots, National Tea Party Federation, and Nationwide Tea Part Coalition has disappeared without a trace. Incidentally, sources in the Horn of Africa have reported the inexplicable appearance of several m...
Read full storyHalloween Poetry Has Local Housewives Flustered
Local housewives were left flustered last night thanks to schoolboys and their enthusiasm for Halloween larks. Answering the door to suspected trick-or-treaters the women were, in stead, surprised to be regaled with romantic poetry. "It all sta...
Read full storyThat Twat Blair to Marry That Twat Salmond
In a shock Holyrood announcement from the normally ignored Scottish Parliament, the marriage of Alexander Salmond (bachelor of the parish of fat, small fuckwits) and Tony Blair (spinster of the parish of unholy arseholes) has been announced. With...
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