"Stuff The Ruddy Buggering Diamond Jubilee!" Rages The Duke Of Edinburgh
Buckingham Palace staff ran for cover Friday night when the Duke of Edinburgh flew into a rage, when Her Majesty suggested that he ought to retire to his bed at ten pm, as the Royal Family were facing quite a hectic weekend, and that he ought to get...
Read full storyObama Uses Executive Order to Wipe Out Unemployment
In a move that his supporters called brilliant, his detractors called an aberration of intelligence and the rest of us wondering why he ordered out when he could have saved money by eating in with DiGiorno, US President Barak Obama used an executive...
Read full storyEmotionally Indifferent Barn Dweller's Sickness, AKA Mad Cow Disease, Claims Another Bovine
SAN FRANCISCO -- A California dairy cow previously identified as having Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy, or Mad Cow Disease, has been euthanized. Federal officials stated that in the last several weeks the cow had been exhibiting classic symptoms o...
Read full storySteven Tyler Takes Jennifer Lopez For A Spin In His Brand New $1.1 Million Hennessey Venom GT Spyder and J.Lo's "Boy-Toy" Has A Fit!
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Steven Tyler stated that he was thrilled that his brand new $1.1 million Hennessey Venom GT Spyder has a sticker price that is higher than Simon Cowell's Bugatti Veyron, which is listed at an even $1 million. The American Idol ju...
Read full storyObama says he regrets 'Polish death camp' gaffe
WARSAW, Poland (AP) - President Barack Hussein Obama has written an urgent email to the Polish president expressing "regret" for a gaffe that caused a wicked storm of controversy in Poland. Obama on Tuesday used the expression "a Polish death camp...
Read full storyFire Destroys Electoral College
An American institution is gone. Metro DC police and fire units responded to the 3 AM blaze Friday morning, only to find the entire structure fully engulfed in inflammatory language and falling apart under its own massive weight. Originally constr...
Read full storyLuverley Jubilee! We're gunna 'ave a right ol' royal knees-up dahn the palace!
The Queen has decided that, to commemorate her Diamond Jubilee, she will revert to her natural speaking style for the day on June 4th. Although she usually affects a very precise BBC English accent, coming from the west end of London means she natur...
Read full storyComputer virus eating faces on Facebook
Florida - Hot on the heels of apparent vampires eating peoples brains, a computer virus dubbed "Defacelika" is eating faces on Facebook. When the virus strikes, according to computer scientist Dr. Bunsard Unsticky, working to defeat the virus, i...
Read full storyAn interview with Congressional beer vendor Cliveden Hopkins
Rhode Island had a good year in 1774. As a delegate to the First Continental Congress Stephen Hopkins wrote, "As both wheel and axle require sufficient grease to proceed in good function, so do voices in defense of free speech require such libation as may be necessary to accomplish this sacred purpose…" And a tradition was born. The well-connected Hopkins appointed a nephew, a lad by t...
Read full storyMasses of global Facebook users commit suicide; they got cut off!
Reports of mass global suicides have been reaching Spoof HQ, but not because there are rumours going round that our beloved Cockney Clive has retired, no! The suicidal ones are Facebook users who were cut off from their lifelines. Unable to tell t...
Read full storyQuentin Kelp MP - Jubilee Special
Dear Constituents I have had a most hectic week. Tomorrow I am due to make a public appearance at a Garden Fete and Jubilee tea party. It doesn't start until 2pm so I'll squeeze in an hour signing letters before a shortened "Meet your MP" session in the Red Lion. After that I'll work on a few words to say at the Fete or, most probably, dig out the speech I did last year if I can find...
Read full storyWeathermen and psychics predict Thames Jubilee pageant washout
London - A karmic tempest is on the cards as the nation's soothsaying industries unite in their Diamond Jubilee predictions. Their warnings for Sunday describe a horrible foreskin - er...foretaste! - of Hurricane Beryl, a topical [sic] storm curre...
Read full storyAndy Murray/Virginia Wade Battle Rages On
The unsavoury war of words between the British tennis number 1 Andy Murray, and former Wimbledon champion Virginia Wade, raged on in earnest today with the gritty Scot claiming he would never again have a wank over Miss Wade. The exchanges began a...
Read full storyWorld Health Organization: Men's Desks Are Dirtier Than Women's. Also, Pizza is Yummy.
World Health Organization: "Men's Desks Are Dirtier Than Women's. Also, Pizza is Yummy." The World Health Organization released findings on a series of expensive studies today, including a study that shows that men's desks are dirtier than women's...
Read full storyPopovich Spurred on by Spurious Media
San Antonio Spurs lost for the first time in a month. The Coach, the ever-effervescent Gregg Popovich, maintained his usually garrulous approach to the media. TV reporters are always careful that the boom isn't lowered on their heads. For those...
Read full storyMadonna Reignites Her Feud With Lady Gaga
TEL AVIV, Israel - Before her concert at Tel Aviv's Smiling Camel Arena, Madonna had expressed that she was feeling very ill from the remnants of jet lag. She was given several glasses of homogenized camel milk and she remarked that it made her fe...
Read full storyJustin Bieber is attacked by crazy photographer
Justin Bierber is attacked by a stalker impostering as a photographer outside of a shopping center in Calabasas. The photographer intentionally blocked Bieber's car with his own in an attempt to keep Bieber from leaving the parking lot, to keep hi...
Read full storyI-Phone's Siri Arrested and Charged with Polygamy
That sexy, soothing female voice named Siri who has stirred the emotions and imaginations of so many iPhone 4S users has been arrested and charged for allegedly committing the crime of polygamy, a whole bunch of times. Who knew that such a loving, u...
Read full storyBloomberg to Set Sights on Little Italy in Anti-Obesity Campaign
After easily pushing through his ban on sugar sodas as part of his War on Obesity, New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg is now considering closing down the popular restaurant district of Little Italy. Bloomberg claims the historic area's regula...
Read full story