Athletes to post on Facebook while they are competing
In previous Olympic Games, it has always been the spectators who have come to watch (and photograph) the athletes and not the other way around. But while many London 2012 athletes were forced to stay in their rooms because the Opening Ceremony was pa...
Read full storyWashington Bails Out Facebook with a Cash Takeover
Washington DC - In a rare bipartisan action, President Obama has joined with Congress to purchase Internet social media giant Facebook for an undisclosed sum. "If you have to ask how much, you can't afford it," Obama joked with reporters. "But ser...
Read full storyMitt Romney Asked To Leave England And Go Back To Hee Haw, Massachusetts
LONDON - Mitt Romney has just clearly demonstrated the art of sticking one's foot in one's mouth. The GOP presidential candidate figured that he would jump on the Olympics bandwagon and garner all kinds of free publicity for his political campaign...
Read full storyNot One Red Sox Cent for Tribute to Fans
The new metaphor in Red Sox baseball is "buyers and sellers." As the trade deadline for MLB approaches, like the witching hour, or worse-- like Last Call in a deplorable bar on Saturday night, the Red Sox should sell the farm. Instead, they wil...
Read full storyCockneys boycott Olympic Games!
True Cockneys are boycotting the Olympic Games which are being held in their backyard because the signposts have not been printed in the local language! The signs have been written in English, French, German, Spanish, etc, but the Olympic organiso...
Read full storyNaked Olympic Games
Olympic officials have sanctioned a new spectacle for the Olympics that should give the Games a real boost, in the light of so little publicity for the event so far. David Cameron, visibly shaken, declared that it was a great opportunity to get aw...
Read full storyOlympic Legend wins gold in egg and spoon race
The pupils of an East London Primary School were treated to an awesome display of speed today as Usain Bolt easily won the egg and spoon race in their annual spots day. Bolt was expected to defend his 100 meter title at the Olympic Stadium but due a...
Read full storyMetamorphosis: Titian 2012. National Gallery. Review
Proserpine Gainsborough-Halfwit visits the Sainsbury Wing to see some contemporary resonses to Ovid's poetry alongside the Venetian great... It can be soooo dull looking at nudes with boyfriends, so I wasn't looking forward to it when Dicky Featherstonehaugh-Tomsk insisted he wanted to come with me to this. Dicky's all right, but he can come across as a bit, you know, pervy. But when I ta...
Read full storyKorean flag mix up causes a flap
One of the first events of the London Olympic games nearly ended before it started after a hilarious mix up with the Korean flag; apparently they have two. The North Korean women's team walked off after a video introducing their players showed th...
Read full storyMore People will Watch Chas Then Olympics, Survey Says
An online survey of 50 million people in the UK with a TV have said that they'd rather watch the Chas Network on TV than the Olympics. The ITV Network, recently renamed the Chas Network after a fictional character in soap Emmerdale (now Chas Dale...
Read full storyRomney to Appoint Roger Ailes Head of New Cabinet Department of Myths, Fables, Fictions and Assholes
Mitt Romney announced today to a shocked press corps that if elected President "I will appoint Roger Ailes to head my new Cabinet level Department of Myths, Fables, Fictions and Assholes." "Nobody does made up stuff better than Roger," explained...
Read full storyAshton Kutcher Smitten With Mila Kunis
HOLLYWOOD - Mila Kunis has stated that she was devastated when her relationship with Justin Timberlake ended. The former star of That 70s Show told Carolina Chipotle with Bedroom Pillow Talk that Justin lured her into their relationship with promi...
Read full storyThe Top 10 Vampire Movies of 2012
Vampire movies have been around since the days of silent films. When most people think of vampires the name that comes to mind is Count Dracula. Count Dracula was portrayed in the 1931 motion picture Dracula by the legendary actor Bela Lugosi. The film is considered to be the "Granddaddy" of all vampire movies. The motion picture was followed by three sequels; Dracula's Daughter (1936...
Read full storyBruins fan reacts to Tim Thomas's Facebook rants with threats to harm puppies
29-year-old Jack McNeill took to his own Facebook page in a heartfelt and somewhat psychotic reaction to his fallen idol's rants. The self-proclaimed Puck Head and former Timmy Thomas die hard reacted harshly when he saw that once again, Tim Thom...
Read full storyK-Stew & R-Pattz Are Kaput!
LOS ANGELES - Kristen Stewart should get an Oscar nomination for her apology in regards to her indiscretion. K-Stew, 22, really laid it on thick saying that she is so, so sorry and that she is embarrassed, ashamed, and feels like 15 cents. She...
Read full storySomething Disturbingly Lewd Is Going On In Our Woods
The following petition has been circulating widely in the forested areas of America for the last few weeks, especially in the West Coast region.It has been spreading alarm amidst the more decent members of our society and has the Bible Belt people up in arms. It has been getting steady play on all the news channels and FOX News especially has picked it up as a banner waving cause: There is a gr...
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