Bruins fan reacts to Tim Thomas's Facebook rants with threats to harm puppies

Funny story written by The Goods

Friday, 27 July 2012

29-year-old Jack McNeill took to his own Facebook page in a heartfelt and somewhat psychotic reaction to his fallen idol's rants.

The self-proclaimed Puck Head and former Timmy Thomas die hard reacted harshly when he saw that once again, Tim Thomas wrote something straight out of the Michelle Bachmann playbook on "How to Make Everyone with an IQ over 75 think you're a F*ucking Psycho". The goaltender-turned-Tea Party nitwit released his own statement in support of Chick-Fil-A owner and gay hater, Dan Cathy, saying he supported him and agreed that our audacity to change the definition of marriage is bringing God's wrath upon the US.

This was all too much for Jack McNeill to handle. On his own Facebook page and Thomas's, he wrote: "Dear Timmy, I understand that you quit hockey to go live in a bunker out in Colorado because you think that God and Jesus are going to come back on a tandem bike and murder us all with nukes and machetes because a black man is president and gay people can get married, but you need to just shut the f*ck up about it. You used to be my idol and you ruined it. So, every time you say something that is so insane I thought Sharon Angle or Rand Paul could have said it, I'm going to kill a puppy and tell everyone that Tim Thomas's gay-porn mustache made me do it."

The results have been somewhat mixed, but many people applauded him for finally calling out Thomas on his gay mustache.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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