Rogue bank loan starts panic in City
After only just recovering from the Barclays interest rigging affair and the RBS/ Nat West computer failure, the banking system was thrown into confusion again today, by what experts were calling a "One in a million" occurrence. A near meltdown of th...
Read full storyThe Very Sexy Sofia Vergara Off The Market
LOS ANGELES - One of the stars of the hit comedy series Modern Family, Sofia Vergara, has just become engaged to her boyfriend of two years Nick Loeb. Loeb is a Florida businessman who reportedly has dealings in the orange pulp business as well as...
Read full storySir Alex Ferguson hands Liverpool reject, Andy Carroll, a lifeline as his personal bodyguard!
Liverpool reject, Andy Carroll, received a surprise telephone call from Sir Alex Ferguson today and Andy initially hoped he would be joining Man Utd on a loan deal. But Sir Alex had another function in mind for Andy because football transfers between...
Read full storyFriday the 13th astrology shocker for House of Lords reform scams
London - A cosmic tsunami is being predicted as Uranus, celestial body of sudden eruptions, turns retrograde this Friday. Nicknamed the zodiac's Great Awakener the planet currently straddles part of the Aries constellation traditionally associated...
Read full storyWills and Kate furious as bootleg snaps show them playing 'bored' games on honeymoon
London - "Bwahaha, we'll never live this one down!" was the only royal comment as 'intimate' pics of the happy newlyweds went viral on the net today. The Seychelles honeymoon images reveal absolutely nothing remotely bordering on swimwear shots i...
Read full storyU2's Adam Upset Over "Greedy" Gibe
Adam Clayton, bass player with Irish megastar rock band U2, is said to be "upset and in hiding" following a court case in which his personal assistant was jailed for seven years. Carol Hawkins was jailed by Judge Patrick McCartan at Dublin's Circu...
Read full storyQuentin Kelp MP - Chicken Curry and Quantitative Easing
Dear Constituents I have had a very hectic week so far, much of it taken up with dealing with constituents very angry about the banks. I have become quite used to this anger over the last year or so but an MP has to be very careful replying to some emails - in one case from a woman unable to pay the mortgage and with bailiffs about to move in. My first nightmare image was of a front pag...
Read full storyShannon Airport's US Emigration Facilities "Cause Concern." Apparently.
The future of pre-clearance US emigration facilities at Shannon Airport, Ireland, is causing concern. UK Irish community newspaper The Irish World reports this week: "It comes amid reports that the US Department of Homeland Security is set to redu...
Read full storyKnockdown Power of Kalashnikov
"And … Pharaoh dreamed …" (Genesis 41:1-2.) and out came seven kine, cows…And then seven lean kine ate the seven fat cows. Pharaoh awoke. Josef's economic forecast is well-known to all and needs no repetition, but need to add that from that point on the Egyptians became staunch believers in dream interpretation. Today Egyptians are not alone. A billion people living in a radius of hundreds of m...
Read full storyNew government inquiry board to inquire about inquiries
In a bold move announced today, the Government is setting up a board of inquiry to look into the boards of inquiry that they have already set up. Headed by a group of very important people, some of whom have beards and wear suits, the Inquiry Inqu...
Read full storyThe Reasons Mitt Romney Is Taking A Trip To Mexico
KALAMAZOO, Michigan - Mitt Romney has stated that two of his top GOP campaign strategists have made a very good suggestion. Clayvert Vixenvox, 37, and Kipton Silvermintz, 68, have advised him to take a trip down south to sunny old Mexico, or as Ru...
Read full storyBoyfriend Splashes Partner with Sauce after reading Fifty shades of Shite
Raymond Hedgehog, 45, was charged with common assault today after being appalled that his girlfriend, Emma McDormouse, had been reading the racy book. Derby magistrates court heard how the tiff over the best-selling novel ended up with him getting to...
Read full storyFootball Gossip & comments 11th July 2012
Harry Redknapp and Fabio Capello are on the 13 man shortlist for the Russia job. A 13 man short-list? I'd hate to see a Russian long list. Or is a Russian long-list the players names? Redknapp has however ruled himself for the job. Shame - I was looking forward to using the headline 'From Taxing Trouble to Russian Roubles' Andy Carroll is considering a loan deal to AC Milan, after rumours...
Read full storyNew Obama Campaign to Drive "Opposition" Voters from America
WASHINGTON, DC - In May 2012, billionaire Eduardo Saverin made the news by renouncing his US citizenship; however, he is not alone. Since President Obama took office, the number of Americans leaving the country in 2011 was more than 600% higher than...
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