Celebrities Tweets Make Young Females More Secure
Kim Khardashian has become the latest celebrity to post a "warts and all" picture of herself on Twitter "without make up" and just generally "not bothered about her appearance". This followes similar postings from Georgina Salpa, Imogen Thomas, K...
Read full storyWoman Cuts Off Own Head In Hairdressing Accident
Hilda Tightwad, a 53 year old former dinner lady from Hinge, West Bracketshire, died yesterday after cutting her own head off while attempting to trim her hair. Her devastated husband, Roger, who is confined to a wheelchair after a sheep worrying...
Read full storyOccupy Protesters Set Up New Camp Outside Buckingham Palace Gates
Busloads of bailiffs and dozens of riot squad officers descended on Buckingham Palace in central London this evening, as a group of 'Occupy' protesters set up camp outside Buckingham Palace gates. This hot on the heels of the St Paul's Occupy clea...
Read full storyLittle Divot Police In Massive Drugs Haul
The sleepy village of Little Divot was left shaken to the core yesterday after a record haul of cannabis was discovered. Police launched a dawn raid on a property in Marrakech Avenue at 5am yesterday morning following a tip off from a neighbour.
Read full storyMarmite and Whitebread - a new detective series
Sky Atlantic has commissioned a gritty new detective series which promises to break the mould as far as stereotyping in US TV cop shows is concerned. Marmite and Whitebread are two tough, ambitious cops who have been thrown together by the top bra...
Read full storyProtesters Evicted from St Paul's Cathedral
Last Night There Were Hundreds of Them, This Morning They are Gone. The protesters camping on the steps of St Paul's Cathedral awoke this morning to find their tents had disappeared. Confusion reigned for a short time as the dirty unkempt tax-dodg...
Read full storyMedia Whore Pipes Up Again
It's been nearly a week since Imogen Thomas has seeked any form of publicity. This week she's decided to do a candid interview with established high-brow publication Balls magazine where she appeals to the world to "leave her alone". The shy and...
Read full storyEngland v Holland: Ex-pat spoofer with Dutch wife found stoned with a brick stuck in his head!
Venlo, Holland: Leading up to tomorrow's friendly game, England v Holland, a major domestic crime took place in Venlo. Ex-patriot and infamous spoofer, J.D.One, was talking about the glory days when England actually beat the Dutch 4-1 (a long, long t...
Read full storyArizona Governor Demands Expanded Illegal Alien Law to Include Space Aliens
TUSCON AZ (ABSNN) -- Tuesday morning, Arizona Governor, Jan Brewer, demanded that her state's already draconian law giveing Arizon law enforcement officers the right to detain undocumented aleins when stopped for traffic violations, be expanded to in...
Read full storyPolitician Could Have Used Local Man's Single, Meaningless Vote
(February 28, 2012)... Stunning news for a promising political campaign today, as a Presidential Candidate fell just short of victory, and lost a statewide primary by a single vote. After hours of statistical analysis and sociological speculation, t...
Read full storyUN declare parts of the UK no-go drug Ganglands!
The UN have officially declared certain areas of the UK suburbs of LA. It seems that these "no-go" areas are homing "Homies" of drug gangs and cartels similar to their parent gangs in the US and especially LA. Here are just a few of the friendly b...
Read full storyAlien abducts Rand Paul, releases him unharmed
PAULVILLE KY (ABSNN) -- Senator Rand Paul (R) from Kentucky, reported today that he had been abducted by the same alien responsible for last week's impregnation of twenty-six South Carolinia high school girls. "It was really an exciting evening,"...
Read full storySnoop Dogg releases his own Garden Weed Killer
Famous Rapper, Snoop Dogg releases his own spray which gets rid of the weed you find at the bottom of your garden and not in your child's bedroom. Entitled "Snoop Dogg's Wizzle Sprizzle". The rapper definitely has his green thumb and due to poor r...
Read full storyMitt Romney and Wife Show Up at Events Wearing Nike Galaxy Shoes
Mitt Romney is proving he'll do just about anything to show his supporters that he is ready, willing and able to spend the money it takes to become President, and how he dresses is an important component in that. Upon hearing that the newly releas...
Read full storyFire breathing dwarfs invade Europe
A clan of destructive "fairytale" dwarfs are causing carnage throughout Europe. Their first sightings were said to be in Germany on February 25th where a American tourist was burnt to a crisp by one of the dwarfs. They have later been spotted in F...
Read full storyJedis get own church in Stoke
The religion "Jediism" which was spawned from the popular movie franchise Star Wars is set to get its own holy place in Stoke on Trent. This ground breaking news for the religion comes after a petition was started by local "Jedis" Barry and Sus...
Read full storyIBM Releases Superconducting Quantum Computer, Large Hadron Collider Engineers Experience First Boner
Showing photographs of the recently developed superconducting processor, IBM announced plans for eventual release of their new Quantum Computer. Engineers and scientists at the Large Hadron Collider in Cern, Switzerland, showed a vividly clear inter...
Read full storyRebekah's gift horse from Scotland Yard 'was a Trojan'
London - Officers from the Met's Mounted Branch played an absolute blinder it was revealed today as details emerged of a gift whorse (sic) loaned to Rebekah Brooks back in 2008. A twelve year old nag - nicknamed 'Elveden' after a Met probe into do...
Read full storyAngelina Jolie Leg Pose Replaces the Tim Tebow Move at NFL Combine
Though many in attendance at the 2012 Oscars considered it to be much ado about nothing, Angelina Jolie's memorable leg pose has replaced Tim Tebow's kneeling move as the new spoof pose at the NFL Combine. Former college athletes are competing for...
Read full storyRyan Giggs to Play On for A Hundred More Years!
Ryan Giggs, the celebrated celebrity litigant and midfield maestro, has revealed to close friends and family that he wants to continue playing football until he is ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY! Giggs, a member of the much-vaunted Manchester United youth...
Read full storyThom Yorke Back to Save the Universe with His Ponytail
Miami, FL--Everyone knows that long hair makes for better rock music, but did you know that it makes for a better planet, too? The sold-out crowd at American Airlines Arena in Miami, FL, was stunned last night when the elfin Radiohead frontman, Th...
Read full storyTales Out of School and Inside the Clubhouse for Red Sox
Boston Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine has posted a new clubhouse Sign-up Sheet: "All Finks Must Log In." Ace pitcher Josh Beckett has applied for the job as the Red Sox team pooper-scooper. He wants to know who has been thrown under the bus in t...
Read full storySun's Occupation Ended by Police
The Police have brought to an end the Sun's Occupation campaign which threatened to disrupt the workings of the country. In a statement Occupy leader "Anonymous Murdoch" declared the removal of the Occupation by the Police had been unfair; 'We hav...
Read full storyBad Luck Follows Good for Disheartened Local Man
Local Man and One Time Failed Evangelist, Seaton Carew (42), today revealed that he is the recent recipient of the good news that he has been waiting so long for. Unfortunately, the wannabe wastrel had to wait no time at all for a bout of bad news...
Read full storyThe iIain App Set to be Released in a Matter of Weeks
Last August, I reviewed the iSpoof app and as a result it came to be the most popular app at The Spoof. This year, the makers of the iSpoof have developed the iIain. G.T. Fox of All The Write Apps developed the iIain due to the increased populari...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan and Maksim Chmerkovskiy Attend Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez' Party Honoring Levi Strauss - The Blue Jean King
MALIBU BEACH - Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez, who are both big fans of blue jeans, just threw a Blue Jean Party honoring the man who invented Levi's none other than Levi Strauss. The Left Coast fandango took place at Rob Pattinson's exquisite Mal...
Read full storyOprah Winfrey Explains Why She and Her BFF Gayle King Decided To Go Skydiving
CHICAGO - It is no secret that Oprah Winfrey's NOW Network is not doing as good as the former talk show queen had hoped it would do. The lady known as Miss O, recently sat down with Voodoo Dupree of The West Hollywood Flaming Gazette and had a lit...
Read full storyRihanna and Chris Brown To Move In Together
BRIGHTON BEACH, Barbados - In what many people are calling an unbelievable turn of events, it now appears that former lovers Rihanna and Chris Brown appear to have put the past behind them - way behind them. Afro Sheen Magazine's March edition has...
Read full storyLeaked Government Documents Reveal Secret Falkland's Plan
The British government has drawn up secret plans to tow the Falkland Islands nearer to the British mainland. According to the leaked documents, the secret operation, named 'Disaster Waiting To Happen', will supposedly take place when the Argentin...
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