Football Gossip & comments 17th August 2012
Joey Barton is the subject of an approach from French side Marseille after losing his QPR squad number to new signing Ryan Nelsen. (BBC Sport) I know we love to hate the French, but do they really deserve Joey Barton? The Olympic spirit may have had an effect on Chelsea left-back Ashley Cole, as he gave a young Manchester City fan his Community Shield medal (Metro) EBAY! Frank Lampard, 3...
Read full storyCouple win Albanian lottery
A couple from the north of England want to remain anonymous after scooping the biggest prize in the Albanian national lottery, and for some reason, wish to stay anonymous. One of the poorest countries in the world, Albania have struggled to pay ba...
Read full storyPaul Hogan and Linda Kozlowski To Star In "Crocodile Dundee Vs. The Werewolves of Walla Walla
HOLLYWOOD - Noted Australian director Kittles McLeavenworth has just announced that Paul Hogan and his wife Linda Kozlowski will be appearing in the film Crocodile Dundee Vs. The Werewolves of Walla Walla. The movie will be the sixth installment i...
Read full storyNuclear Option for Assange
Julian Assange, Wikileaks founder, currently camped at the Ecuadorian Embassy with locked in syndrome has been granted the right to die in a complex decision by The European Commission. The British Government has decided to help Assange in his que...
Read full storyEquador invades
London, England. In devastatingly dramatic news, Equadoran military forces have invaded British shores near Dover and Brighton following the failure of United Kingdom leaders to compromise on the issue of independent embassies and their legitimate ex...
Read full storyFootball clubs to offer degree courses
It was announced this morning that London football club Tottenham Hotspur is to offer degree courses, the first time a sporting club has entered the foray into third level education. Famous not only for it's iconic stadium at White Hart Lane, it i...
Read full storyNever leave the caravan park
It has been calculated that there are now so many caravan parks in Britain that it is possible to walk south down the coast from Edinburgh, and follow the coast all the way around to Glasgow without ever leaving a caravan park. "That's a lot of ca...
Read full storyMutiny on S.S. Fenway (or Red Sox Swamp the Rowboat)
Not since Mr. Christian tossed Captain Bligh overboard from the Bounty in mid-ocean has there been a scene like the Fenway mutiny. Usually benign Adrian Gonzalez, known for his affable passivity, and Dustin Pedroia, the quintessential company man,...
Read full storyThe Fourth Protocol-style pizza scam as Julian Assange dials for delivery
London - Was last night's 15-inch stuffed crust delivery from Papa Luciani's Pizza Heaven** monitored by spooks who'd studied the 1987 Michael Caine blockbuster? According to leading espionage sauces 'it bore all the hallmarks of a classic drop' m...
Read full storyAnimal Rights Group Takes Issue With Lady Gaga Beating Her Meat
Animal rights activists are up in arms over a statement Lady Gaga made in reference to dead animals. Gaga said, "Dead Animals Make Great Coats". This statement, no matter how true, has people all upset, especially animal rights people. One me...
Read full storyCross Dressers to get their own car-parking spaces
In a bid to help Britain's last hidden minority, moves are afoot to provide transsexuals, transvestites and cross dressers with their own car parking spaces. "Initially," said scheme organiser, Monica Soon, "this will be outside clothes shops on r...
Read full storyFootball Gossip & comments 16th August 2012
Man Utd agree £24m deal with Arsenal for striker Robin van Persie. The two clubs eventually agreed a price after weeks of offers and refusals. Officials agreed a deal last night over dinner - United offered to pay but apparently they went dutch. AC Milan have signed a 10-year-old girl from East Dunbartonshire after she impressed scouts while on a family holiday in La Manga. (Metro) A talent...
Read full storyWoman Delivers Triplets While Bungee Jumping
CANON CITY, Colorado - Maddie Jo Ketzlinko, 27, and her grandmother Gretchen Batboxette, 73, were visiting the nationally famous Royal Gorge. Mrs. Ketzlinko who is 8 months, 3 weeks, and 6 days pregnant told her granny that she wanted to bungee ju...
Read full storyFootball Results & comments 15th August 2012
International Friendlies England 2 Italy 1 England gained revenge for their Euro 2012 with a victory over the Azurri. The match was played in the Wankdorf Stadium in Berne, Switzerland. With a stadium name like that it's a surprise Wayne Rooney and John Terry weren't in the squad. Scotland 3 Australia 1 The Scots beat the mighty Australians to move up to 3rd in the Cricket World Rankings.
Read full storyLady Gaga Says, "Dead Animals Make Beautiful Coats And Some Taste Good"
Lady Gaga sighted in the cross hairs, then pulled the trigger on animal rights saying in essence, "I respect your rights to not wear, fur, boa, python, leather, lamb, wool, crocodile, alligator and not to mention the occasional shank steak", so pleas...
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