George Formby. His part in my war
This month we hear how George played an important role in keeping up moral during the Blitz. "We was darn the underground station in Bethnal Green. The misses said we would be safe from the Bosh and there might be some entertainment. Abart ten at night, this George Formby bloke turns up and starts wiv all that "Ow do!" Me misses threw herself on the live rails. By the time I jumped, so many p...
Read full storyWho stole the Isle of Wight? Part the first
Mr Gongle stood at the window of his bungalow and raised the telescope to his eye. "Fuck me Maude!" He cried, "Some bastards nicked the Solent!" "What you going on about Eric" Said his wife, as she placed the breakfast tray on the table. "The fuckin Solent has been stolen some bastard has had it away with the whole lot!" "Whatever gives you that idea Eric, you been drinking the Cuban b...
Read full storyThe Prodigy To Headline In Diamond Jubilee Festival
A music festival to commemorate the Queen's Diamond Jubilee has been arranged to coincide with the event on the 5th of June, with the Queen rumoured to be making a surprise guest appearance on the main dance stage along with festival headliners The P...
Read full storyThe iPad3 is too heavy to carry
The recently released iPad3, which actually comes from a different universe, different milky way and different planet (especially for over 60 year-olds Granny Smiths) seems to have certain deficiencies. The major one is; it seems to be too heavy for...
Read full storyObama Realizes Crucial Line Left Out of Affordable Care Act
Yesterday, a shamefaced President Obama confided to his Cabinet members that he accidentally left a crucial line out of the recently enacted Affordable Care Act. Specifically, Obama mistakenly omitted a clause known as the "Ph.D. Provision," whic...
Read full storyAnders Behring Breivik claims he is sane; well at least he now had a reason for slaughtering 77 innocent people!
Extreme right wing "Loony" mass murderer and hater of everything not white, blue-eyed, blond-haired and Caucasian, Anders Behring Breivik, denies every single psycho-test done on him and claims he is completely normal (his 77 innocent victims may thi...
Read full storyPanic as bookies prepare to pay out for a White Easter
For the first time in living memory, bookies in the south of England are preparing themselves to pay out for a White Easter. "Who knew?" said Falstaff Bier, a bookmaker from Romford. "We've been accepting bets on White Easter's for decades, and ne...
Read full storyDancing With The Stars Eliminates Jack Wagner, The Ex-Future Husband of Heather Locklear
HOLLYWOOD - Many television media critics agree this year's edition of Dancing With The Stars has the best celebrity dancers in the shows entire 14 seasons. One of the nicest celebs to ever appear on the show Jack Wagner found himself in the Botto...
Read full storyDigital switchover hell as microwave oven broadcasts Great Pyramid of Giza chamber opening
Buckinghamshire - "It's either an alien nocturnal emission from the Ally Pally transmitter or some weird digital switchover glitch," was the official line following an inexplicable incident at a leafy South Bucks home. This morning Egypt Wood resi...
Read full storyJames Cameron Insensitive to Titanic 'Victims'
Victims who in 1997 had been subjected to James Cameron's Titanic, and many others who had subsequently been affected by watching his film, are protesting at the film being raised from the depths of bad 90s film hell in a new 3D format. 'It's dis...
Read full storyAlice Roberts Reportedly Furious Over Latest Press Coverage
Top TV scientist, Alice Roberts, is said to be fuming today over how she is presented in the news media. Her wrath was initially incurred by an item on popular news website, TheSpoof, which - not for the first time - reported on one set of the pro...
Read full storyMet Police Vow To Apprehend London Underground Mutant Psycho Vampire Cannibal Serial Killer Before The 2012 Olympics
In breaking news which broke when nobody had hitherto been aware there was a problem, the Metropolitan Police today issued a statement acknowledging that there is a mutant psycho vampire cannibal serial killer prowling the London Underground network,...
Read full storyEmergency service man offers tyre exchange service for nothing; You get his bald ones he gets your good ones!
Emergency help man and person you need in an emergency, The Michelin Man (name changed for legal reasons) has set up his own business in the UK, exchanging tyres when you're not looking and he does it all for nothing. All an innocent UK motorist h...
Read full storyAlice Roberts Fans Not Holding Their Breath Over Woolly Mammoth Doc
Patient and long-suffering fans of top TV boffin totty Alice Roberts will be breathing easy tonight when she presents a BBC programme on the woolly mammoth. Anthropologist Dr Roberts has delighted TV viewers over the last few years with her contri...
Read full storyAre you hot for teacher, or is teacher hot for you?
EX- Bengal Tiger Cheerleader - School Teacher is the new talk not only on the sports page but the Harper Valley PTA's Manure List as well? Well folks it looks like another school teacher has been teaching a little to much sex education in their class and at home after school again in the news today? As I had to stop right in the middle of my all you can eat spaghetti dinner.When I had to keep...
Read full storyWhy Babies Now Take Longer To Be Born
An American research study on childbirth shows that, on average, labor takes longer now in comparison to 50 years ago. A Spoof reporter, seeking to understand what's behind these findings, interviewed a sample of new moms and newborns (you guessed...
Read full storyRegrets and Apology
Sometimes I write satire to convey my frustration with the state of the world that we live in. Please understand that nothing I author is meant as criticism of Our Dear Leader or of his associates. I know he is a warm, benevolent man, and I realize that he is a supremely intelligent being who operates at an intellectual level that is far above my poor ability to comprehend. My poor attempt...
Read full story