Strip poker tournament attracts massive viewing figures
Britain's first televised Strip Poker Tournament took place in Blackpool yesterday, and the viewing figures shot through the roof as word spread around the internet that the Young Women's Cheerleaders Association was taking part this year. The sho...
Read full storyPresident Obama Planning To Send Troops Into Tripoli - President George W. Bush Replies, "I Knew It! The Skinny Little Fella Is A Closet Republican!"
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Barack Obama, after meeting in secret with Vice-President Joe Biden, talk show host and 'unofficial' presidential advisor Oprah Winfrey, and the "First Mama" Michelle Obama has reached a somewhat startling decision. Th...
Read full storyMichele Bachmann Wows Republican Faithful
A new gaff prone woman politician is gaining in popularity and wants to run for US president. Daffy Michele was thought of something as a joke until recently when she has gained prominence. The conspiracy mad 'Tea Party' member has some very st...
Read full storyEx "Bish" Carl Cooper Protested Too Much - And Was Having An Affair After All
The former bishop of Saint David's Diocese in Wales has married his former 'bishop's chaplain', Mandy Williams Potter. Bishop Carl was forced to resign by Archbishop of Wales Barry Morgan; he denied any wrong-doing and denied he was having an affa...
Read full story"I'm Just Wild About Harry"
Well bred young fillies have been stalking Prince Harry on the stomping grounds of posh private members clubs such as Mahiki. The exquisitely dressed young Sloanes' toss their ubiquitous blond tresses and quaff champagne at £450 a pop. Coded texts are sent when there is a flurry of activity when it is thought that their prey is close at hand, "Harry @Mahiki no C" can be roughly translated...
Read full storyTom Hanks to Portray Bill O'Reilly in Upcoming Autobiography
In an upcoming autobiography by Bill O'Reilly in which he prefers not to play himself, O'Reilly has hired Tom Hanks to step in and portray the "love him or hate him" darling of Fox News Channel. "At first I thought, man, this is really weird," say...
Read full storyLeandro Looked Like 'A Deer Frozen In The Head Lights'
The Latino toy boy looked frozen with fear as he was bombarded by a barrage of flash bulbs of the assembled paparazzi at a 'Glamour Awards' bash in Dublin Katie Price looked like a doily in an unflattering crocheted dress which as slashed to the navel and revealed her flesh coloured bra and knickers. The former glamour model aka Jordan looked like 'mutton dressed as lamb' and as usual had pl...
Read full storyPeaches Dropped By "Insanity PR Management Company"
Troubled Peaches has been dropped by her agent who said that they had parted company on the 18th March and felt they could no longer 'work with her'. This comes as a surprise after they have stuck by her through 'thick and thin' even when there we...
Read full storyKirstie Alley "Dancing Pig" Insult By George Lopez
Frumpy Kirstie Alley turned up to her dancing rehearsal dishevelled and with her hair unkept wearing a holey jumper. On 'Dancing With The Stars' she was compared by host George Lopez to a 'pig' with tiny trotters. George Lopez had said: 'She did a nice job, her little hooves tapping away. 'Before the show she went to the market, then she had roast beef, and this is her going all the way h...
Read full storyKerry Katona Goes On "Take Me Out"
Kerry Katona was a surprise contestant on "Celebrity Take Me Out". Kezza was one of the lovely ladies who were on the look out for 'Mr Right'. A lot of man eaters were on the special celebrity edition of "Take Me out", Jordan, Jodie Marsh, Sarah Harding, Stacey Solomon and Zoe Ball and Fearne Cotton were amongst the celebrity 'lovelies'. The lucky guy who was on the show was Jeffrey Brazier.
Read full storyDavid & Goliath astrology for Obama's Libya rant Monday
Washington - A Sun/Pluto clash will showcase the evening's Jupiter/Saturn opposition as the President takes the podium at Washington's National Defense University. "Sure, we'd have preferred the speech next Sunday, April 3rd," paranoiacs at CIA di...
Read full storyNew Evidence Links Monica Lewinsky And Clinton To Unabomber
In Washington this morning, the Inspector General of the National Archives released confidential documents that implicate Monica Lewinsky and President Clinton with Ted Kaczynski, also known as the Unabomber. After years of trying to piece together the facts in an attempt to understand what Sandy Berger, the former Clinton National Security Advisor, was trying to accomplish when he stuffed high...
Read full storyCan you 'lawfully' kill someone in England? Headlines ARE 'grabbing' readers.
Taxi driver Derrick Bird unlawfully killed the 12 victims he shot dead in Cumbria before he committed suicide, an inquest jury has ruled. I have just read the above headline on an onsite English newspaper and must admit to not having read the whole story. The headline 'grabbed' me as we are encouraged to do with our own stories....let the headline grab 'em. I am not commenting on the stor...
Read full storyHuge Demo in London
Estimates of the number of demonstrators in London vary but it is clear that huge support exists for the Cuts Campaign. Police estimate that 100 people had turned up to support the Cuts, but other observers considered that the number was nearer 50.
Read full storyColonel Gadhafi Is Secretly Planning To Leave Libya and Head To Hollywood To Audition For Charlie Sheen's Old Job On "Two And A Half Men"
TRIPOLI, Libya - The word on the shell-casing strew streets of Tripoli is that Dictator Colonel Moammar "The Towel" Gadhafi is secretly finalizing plans to leave Libya and move out to Hollywood with his wife of 40 years, the attractive and extremely...
Read full storyIn A Shocking Development Heidi Montag's Wax Museum Figure Is Found To Be 80 Percent Plastic!
LONDON - The curator for London's premier Wax Museum has just issued a press release regarding their latest wax figure. Tickety Boo News has reported the shocking story that the wax figure of American reality show participant Heidi Montag, unlike...
Read full storyThe Adventures of Barry O'Farrell
The Adventures of Barry O'Farrell By Les Patterson Jnr Most of the Foreign Jippos and Wogs that moved to Australia in the 1950s brought with them the muscle and capacity to build great state infrastructure like the snowy hydro scheme in New South Wales. Now your asking why would a dinky di Aussie like Lesley Patterson Junior raise this in the first paragraph of his latest article? Well dea...
Read full storyDavid Cameron Launches Unfair Counter-attack on Ed Miliband
David Cameron has launched a sneaky counter-attack on Ed Miliband. The attack comes just days after Ed Miliband launched his attack on the door of number 10. The original attack happened on Wednesday when Ed Miliband decided to embark on a light...
Read full storyCheese Rolling Contest Cancelled
The world famous Gloucester cheese rolling competition held at Cooper's Hill, Brockworth has been cancelled for the second year in a row after organisers received threat of violence. The event, which was cancelled in 2010 on health and safety grou...
Read full storyGeldof Donates To Charity
Bob Geldof, who received a knighthood in 1986 for his fund raising efforts with Live Aid and Band Aid, has hit the charity trail again. Earlier this year, he former Boomtown Rats frontman released his first album in 10 years, "How To Compose Popul...
Read full storyDemi Lovato Explains The Truth Behind Her Two Brand New Wrist Tattoos
VENICE BEACH - Demi Lovato, the Disney darling showed off her latest ink art as she sunbathed by herself at Venice Beach. Lovato showed reporters for Tittle Tattle Tonight and Bedroom Pillow Talk that she had two brand new tattoos on each of her w...
Read full storyMom Sues Preschool for Hindering Kid's Ivy League Chances; Others Follow Suit
That's suit as in lawsuit. And attorneys couldn't be happier. When a NY mom determined that her daughter's preschool was not providing the proper foundation for an Ivy League education, she decided to sue the preschool. The floodgates opened.
Read full storyEducation System Failing Procrastinators
BIRMINGHAM - New research by the University of Birimingham says that Britain's education system is failing the procrastinators and the don't-give-a-shitists. A national campaign spearheaded by Inhopeless has been started in earnest. "I was a ma...
Read full storyMan Thinks He Slept His Life Away in Elaborate Practical Joke
WINTERHAVEN, FL - Imagine you fall asleep and wake up much later in the...century! That's exactly what a man went through recently when he awoke from what he thought was a forty-year slumber. His name is Freddy Cronk, but you can call him Rip Van Winkle. And he has the beard to prove it, at least until the glue wears off. Just listen to him tell the whole story the way only he could. "I woke...
Read full storyJeff Brazier Goes on 'Take Me Out' and Chooses "Classy" Konni Huq to go on a date with
Kerry Katona was a surprise contestant on "Celebrity Take Me Out". Kezza was one of the lovely ladies who were on the look out for 'Mr Right'. A lot of man eaters were on the special celebrity edition of "Take Me out", Jordan, Jodie Marsh, Sarah Harding, Stacey Solomon and Zoe Ball and Fearne Cotton were amongst the celebrity 'lovelies'. The lucky guy who was on the show was Jeffrey Brazier.
Read full story