Miley Cyrus' Brand New Tattoo Angers Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann
TARZANA - Miley Cyrus recently visited The Tarzan and Jane Petting Zoo located in Tarzana with her little sister 11-year-old Noah Lindsey Cyrus. While Noah was petting a Tennessee Fainting Goat Miley was approached by iRumors reporter Vodka Vermic...
Read full storyLetters To The Editor From The Variously Afflicted
Dear Sir, I melon to you as one who wishes to draw the pomegranate of your readers to the grape of those who are forced to endure the banana called "fruit insertion coconut", by which they are tomato to substitute the starfruits of fruits for the actual mandarins they really want to apple. As blackberry can no strawberry pineapple, this is a very apricot condition for both sufferers and thos...
Read full storyHedge Tax to hit Taxpayers Hard
In a bid to make even more money off the beleaguered British public, the ConDems have created a brad new tax: The Hedge Tax. "We discovered that a lot of people were investing in Hedge Funds," said George Osborne, Chancellor of the Exchequer. "Giv...
Read full storyWhite People File Class Action Suit against NAACP after Getting the Blues
Memphis, TN - Clevis Porter Reems, a local attorney, has filed a Class Action suit against the NAACP on behalf of millions of White folks who have recently come down with the Blues. In the suit which was recently filed in Federal Court, Mr. Reems con...
Read full storyInsects to Blame for Fires in Southwest
College Station, Texas - This week is predicted to be the hottest week in Texas on record. While it would be a great thing normally to be considered hot, in a sexual way, it is not great to be living in one of the worst heat waves in twenty year...
Read full storyObama Raises Birthday Bash Plate Ceiling to $71,600, Announces New Chicago Casino!
Feeling petulant, peevish and ever the perverse petite-maitre, President Obama became the latest Poster Boy for the Peter Principal in US politics as he postured, prevaricated, and pissed off most of America over the still unresolved Debt De...
Read full storySachin Tendulkar Misses Out Again - Not Funny, Says Expert
Indian great, Sachin Tendulkar, again missed out on his 100th century at Trent Bridge this afternoon, but one observer isn't laughing. The number four looked comfortable on 56 when he left one that homed in on his off stump from English paceman, J...
Read full storyEast Yorkshire Naturists' Union Visit Roche Abbey
The members of the East Yorkshire Naturists' Union (the 'E.Y. Nudists') met at Rotherham on Saturday last, for a nature walk around the woods and commons in the neighbourhood of Roche Abbey, Maltby, and Sandbeck Park. The day turned out brilliantly fine, and there was a gathering of some 40 or 50 naturists (including many long-standing members) on Maltby Common. The explorations were in the ha...
Read full storyCharlie Sheen Set To Appear On The Charlie Sheen Show
Word is spreading that Charlie Sheen could be back on British TV screens as he is set to appear on the new instalment of Celebrity Big Brother on Channel 5. However, a term in his rather lucrative contract states that Channel 5 must rename the sho...
Read full storyGanja pipe alien crop circle 'etched by laser pen aboard International Space Station' - reports
Wiltshire - NASA top brass has vehemently denied it, of course, but the appearance of a 200ft crop circle near Stonehenge depicting ET smoking a classic ganja pipe 'may be the artwork of bored ISS astronauts'. The etching materialised around 15 Ju...
Read full storyRomney: I Was Duped On Health Care Issue
NEW HAMPSHIRE - "I was duped on the issue of Universal health care". These were the words uttered by Mitt Romney yesterday as he attempts to rebuild and solidify his public image in his bid for the Republican Presidential nomination. Romney cla...
Read full storyDSK & the Maid
Dominique Strauss-Kahn, DSK, former head of the International Monetary Fund (IMF), was arrested in New York on May 15, 2011, accused of sexually assaulting a hotel maid. DSK had to resign from his IMF job and give up chances of running in France's 2012 presidential election. On July 1, the case against him seemed weakened, as the maid's side of the story became questionable. Naturally, we were...
Read full storyDyson Cheese Grater the Next Revolution
After improving the vacuum cleaner, the hand drier and the fan, James Dyson will be turning his attention to improving kitchen appliances, starting with the Cheese Grater. The Dyson Vacuum cleaner revolutionised vacuuming, and forced people to sto...
Read full storyUnited pilot faked unfamiliar odor to get Cuban cigars
United airlines may have found a loophole in their flight policy to and from Cuba, and faking the smell of an "unfamiliar odor" gave the airline the two thumbs up to land in Cuba. Although United does not normally fly into Cuba, the pilot on boar...
Read full storyNaomi Campbell To Guest Star on Hell's Kitchen - She Says If Gordon Ramsay Screams At Her She'll Kick His Ass Big Time!
PASCAGOULA, Mississippi - Naomi Campbell, who has been called "The Queen of Mean" among a number of other negative nicknames was down in the Gulf Coast town of Pascagoula, Mississippi. Campbell had been asked by the local Order of The African-Amer...
Read full storyHonduras Has Captured A Cocaine-Laded Submarine That Reportedly Was Headed For Malibu Beach
TEGUCIGALPA, Honduras - The Honduran Navy has reportedly captured a 90-foot submarine, off the coast of neighboring El Salvador, that allegedly was destined for Malibu Beach, California. The submarine which had personalized Arizona license plates...
Read full story