Obama Raises Birthday Bash Plate Ceiling to $71,600, Announces New Chicago Casino!

Funny story written by Morse

Monday, 1 August 2011

image for Obama Raises Birthday Bash Plate Ceiling to $71,600, Announces New Chicago Casino!
US Taxpayers left to clean up mess after Bama Birthday Bash!

Feeling petulant, peevish and ever the perverse petite-maitre, President Obama became the latest Poster Boy for the Peter Principal in US politics as he postured, prevaricated, and
pissed off most of America over the still unresolved Debt Debate.

The dark cloud looming over the head of state was not the impending default of the government's obligation to honor it's debts, after all, just like in the Government Motors (GM) Debacle with one swipe of his pen and an executive order, he could just wipe out all obligations leaving thousands with no recourse.

It was nothing as trivial as that, it was the impending personal inconvenience of having to
delay his Birthday Bash in his spawning ground of Chicago, home of power politics, community organizing , union dysfunction, and where little Acorns, well fertilized by back room deals, finally mature into full grown nutz!

As if to assure himself of his own omnipotence, the White House issued a new call raising
Obama's personal debt ceiling, saying that after careful consideration, sitting at the table with the Birthday Boy would now cost $71,600 instead of the previously announced $35,800.

General Admission was raised to $400 from $200, a picture with His Greatness would
now cost $2,000, and not $1,000, and as a special incentive, Anthony Weiner would be made available for photo ops in the stately men's room, sans shorts whilst 'sporting a big 'un."

Co Host and Presidential Advisor, Valerie Jarrett, was overheard saying, "Hey, the sky's the limit, it's only money, and it's not ours...what's the big F****g deal here!"

New Chicago Mayor and FORMER presidential advisor Rahm Emanuel was said to be on
medication to control his temper as he had big plans to have Obama cut the ribbon on the immense new Casino/Mosque on Lake Shore Drive.

The gigantic complex covering 6 city blocks is the first of it's kind, divided into at least 5 ethnic sections to comply with increased political correctness and human rights movements since the Obama Administration came to power just short of 3 years ago.

One wing has been named after Dubai's financial genius Sheikh Mohammed Bin Rashid
al-Maktoum, and according to a building permit just issued, shows the extravagant
section extending 1500 yards out into Lake Michigan built on a base of used tires on the lake bed stabilized by Dynamic Compaction otherwise known as "pounding sand."

Completely across the compound will be the Debbie Wasserman Schultz wing catering exclusively to Jewish high rollers from as far away as Tel Aviv, as close as Highland Park, Il, and just a bullet train ride away from Westchester Country,NY, or Newton, MA, Barney Frank's political stronghold.

Russia will have it's own Oligarch wing to cater to Oil Billionaires and Russian Mafia figures from Brighton Beach , NY where kiosks will be set up selling multi-million dollar yachts, imported super cars, executive jets, Rolex watches, 10 pound gold chains, potato pancakes and wife beater tie-dyed t-shirts reminiscent of the 60's.

The Mexican Mafia and the Italian Mafia will be splitting a wing separated by a sound proof, and some say a bullet proof, central conference room complete with up to the minute reports on the price of cocaine, meth, heroin, and marijuana with international feeds to the ministers of trade in France, Columbia, Mexico, Venezuela, Panama, Honduras, as well as to import/export entrepreneurs in Detroit, Oakland, Houston, Philadelphia, Denver, Portland, OR, NYC, Miami and downtown Washington, DC.

While not finalized, insiders say the central core of the building will house the Obama Presidential Library consisting of one desk, a reclining chair, a putting green, a hydroponic garden of tomatoes and Brussels Sprouts, a lone basketball hoop highlighted by a cathedral ceiling soaring 10 stories into the sky.

A source said they may add a few book shelves if any of Obama's papers ever turn up.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more