Naomi Campbell To Guest Star on Hell's Kitchen - She Says If Gordon Ramsay Screams At Her She'll Kick His Ass Big Time!

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 1 August 2011

image for Naomi Campbell To Guest Star on Hell's Kitchen - She Says If Gordon Ramsay Screams At Her She'll Kick His Ass Big Time!
A photo of Naomi Campbell's pet python snake which she named "Fred Flintstone" after Sean Hannity.

PASCAGOULA, Mississippi - Naomi Campbell, who has been called "The Queen of Mean" among a number of other negative nicknames was down in the Gulf Coast town of Pascagoula, Mississippi.

Campbell had been asked by the local Order of The African-American Food-Service Employees to be the Grand Marshal of The 19th Annual Fried Okra Festival & Oprah Winfrey Look-A-Like Contest Parade.

Ms. Campbell said that she accepted since she had two cousins who worked at a local Burger Belle in nearby Biloxi and who went on to get better food service jobs across the state line in Mobile, Alabama.

Naomi was asked by Hacienda Dakota of Hollywood Vis-a-Vis if it was true that she had agreed to guest star on an episode of Hell's Kitchen.

She replied that she had in fact agreed to appear on Gordon Ramsay's show. Miss Dakota shook her head and asked if she knew what a mean, horrible, quick-tempered SOB Ramsay is?

Campbell grinned from ear-to-ear and answered that she was very well aware of the way that Ramsay hollers, yells, screams, belittles, degrades, and insults the people appearing on his show.

She then got a sly look on her face, kind of like the one the Chattanooga cat got when he swallowed the Cleveland canary.

Dakota smiled and asked her if her agreeing to appear on Hell's Kitchen was all by design.

Naomi smiled and replied, "Honeychild, ju got dat right. I am gonna go on da honkie cracker's show in hopes dat da sumbitch yells and screams at me da way he do at da white folk cause iffin he do den Mr. Ramsay is gonna say hello ta Miss Naomi's big size 12 thigh-high boot and I will kick his ass big time, uh huh, and dat's eggsackly what I be talkin atcha about."

Naomi Campbell is the type of woman who is not afraid of any man. Rumor has it that back in 1999 in Cincinnati she beat the sh*t out of Mike Tyson but old Iron Mike paid her $4,000 not to tell anyone.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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