DSK & the Maid

Funny story written by walter

Monday, 1 August 2011


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Dominique Strauss-Kahn, DSK, former head of the International Monetary Fund (IMF), was arrested in New York on May 15, 2011, accused of sexually assaulting a hotel maid. DSK had to resign from his IMF job and give up chances of running in France's 2012 presidential election. On July 1, the case against him seemed weakened, as the maid's side of the story became questionable.

Naturally, we were curious to learn how the Guinean hotel maid might look like. This is a male's innate feeling when they walk in the streets and see an attractive female promenading in front of them. They, men, are curious to check out the face of the female when they pass her. It seems that some men would get more satisfaction when a tempting body goes with a pretty complexion.

Mess media, (oops), deny the audience the information required to make a better judgment; the media withhold the data in the same manner when a plane crashes, pending the retrieval of the black box which might surface too late. They know how the short memories work.

Now we have seen the hotel maid's face and stature: tall, plump but with a nose job and a dyed wig. By the way, how long does it for a nose job to heal: disappearance of the blue patches or the filling up of the hollowed out tissues? Anyway, what is admirable in hotel maids is their dexterity to throw the bedspread in the air and let it land on the king size bed in one stroke just like fly-fishing. Beside, they can lift a bulky mattress with ease. They are, absolutely, physically fit!

Another question is the real size of her brassiere, a genuine cup C or less? Since maids have to use both hands all the time, they are awkward in walking as gracefully as Anne Sinclair, DSK's wife, wearing that snow-white blouse which seems to be a French sex appeal color.

In her press meeting, the hotel maid emphatically declared: "I want him, DSK, to go to jail". The word 'want' sounds very authoritarian!

Un momento, seƱor! Don't say that DSKs will not sleep with a sweating maid. In fact, men have slept with anything that moves or is stationary, including chickens, let alone a tall hefty female. Hotel maids don't clean toilets in expensive flowing gowns! Maid, normally, clean rooms when the tourists are away. Beside, they leave the doors ajar. Raping does not always take place like a tiger jumping on the back of a gazelle. Many men prefer a consensual sex.

Additionally, who is her supervisor? Such a hotel that DSKs frequent must have a standard procedure. If DSK really approached her, and she didn't like the idea, she could have informed her supervisor before being jumped at.

Anyway, one may wander if DSK was under the spell of Greek Aphrodite.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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