Big Brother Jennifer Has Been Lobotomised - But It Was Unsuccessful!
Big Brother Jennifer, who, through her argument with Big Brother Rex, was responsible for the evictioning of Big Brother Dennis, has been lobotomised, it has been revealed.
Read full storyMoney Found Growing On Tree In Scotland
There was great excitement in Scotland yesterday, when money was discovered growing on a tree. Tree experts have said this is the first reported case of the phenomenon in Britain.
Read full storyDysfunctional Family Enjoys Incident Free Meal
(New Jersey) For the first time in recent memory, The Mitchell family enjoyed a pleasant Sunday dinner with out all the psychotic behavior that occurs during family meals.
Read full story"Iron Man" Dick Cheney Crashes Nelson Mandela's 90th Birthday Party
Johannesburg, South Africa - After charging up his "Iron Man' suit compete with the mystical Asgardian crystal on his chest, deep within the secret underground catacombs of a chicken coop on Bush's Texas ranch…Kbooom!* Suddenly, Dick Che...
Read full storySpoof Offices Raided In Search For The Phisherman's Phriend
The headquarters of satirical news website The Spoof were the site of a massive police raid today, after an attempt to unearth the internationally notorious, and notoriously international, the Phisherman's Phriend.
Read full storyPhoenix Earth Lander Detects No Life On The Blue Planet
Hades City Venus -- Disappointed scientists announced today there is no on extravenusian life on Earth. The space agency's ambitious Phoenix Earth Lander conducted several tests at the Blue Planet's equator and found the planet was sterile. T...
Read full storyZimbabwe accepts more Penalties
Mugabe accepted Bush's offer for more penalties magnanimously. Villagers were seen rejoicing in the streets as the news was announced by the town-criers all over the country. Zimbabwe, already reeling under the joy of seeing Mugabe re-elected as...
Read full storyThis Week's Top Ten Box Office Hollywood Movies
* The French Copyright Connection II. Lazy movie-makers copy an entire film, and change its name * The Sting. Hopelessly bad actors demand millions for not acting properly, and get the money * Erin Brockorich. Julia Roberts goes on strike, as she is now starving, due to low wages * An American Conman In London.
Read full storyMugabe Joins Mandela And Stars At London Gig
Robert Mugabe joined Nelson Mandela at a concert in London's Hyde Park to celebrate ruining once-rich African countries...
Read full storyDemands by Hillary Clinton Come to Light
Hillary Clinton was defeated by Barack Obama in the race for the Democratic Presidential Nomination delegate count. As part of her concession, and promise of support in the November election, Clinton made several previously unknown demands of the Il...
Read full storyObama Insults McCain's Vietnam War Record
Democratic Party Presidential Candidate Barack Obama decided to get "down and dirty" in his campaign against Republican Candidate John McCain. From a speech delivered in front of 2500 people in Cleveland, Obama attempted to "set the r...
Read full storyCaught in the act
Evening all. I'm PC Dixon of Dock Green. I suppose it all started last year when I went on my holiday to a quiet fishing village in Portugal called Praia da Luz. Roughly translated it means Beach of The Blue Lamp. As you know, my real name is Jack Warn...
Read full storyPope's Stylist Resigns
More controversy from the Vatican today as the Pope's head stylist has resigned from his post after he and the Pontiff disagreed about the outfit he should wear to last Sunday's mass.
Read full storyScottish Labour party leader resigns for not fiddling the books
In a shock move today, the leader of the Scottish Labour party resigned after admitting to not fiddling the books.
Read full storyThe Queen Signs On The Dole
Today, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II went to her local Job Centre, and registered herself as unemployed.
Read full storyBig Brother Dennis Arrested By Police
Dennis McHugh, the Big Brother housemate evicted from the show yesterday, has been arrested by police in London and charged with offences in relation to Spitting. McHugh, 23 and gay, spat gob in the face of fellow contestant Mohamed after a barney...
Read full storyAstronaut lands shuttle in store parking lot
Des Moines, Iowa - A space shuttle returning from a recent visit to russian space station "Smirnoff", unexpectedly landed in a Wal-Mart parking lot in Iowa.
Read full storyWhy I am not an advice columnist
Occasionally I like to pick up the newspaper and read one of those advice columns that usually start with "Dear Amy" then the person describes his/her problem. Whenever I read the advice I always think "that's not the advice I would have given". I have abbreviated some of the questions and here are the answers I would have given:...
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