This Week's Top Ten Box Office Hollywood Movies

1. The French Copyright Connection II. Lazy movie-makers copy an entire film, and change its name
2. The Sting. Hopelessly bad actors demand millions for not acting properly, and get the money
3. Erin Brockorich. Julia Roberts goes on strike, as she is now starving, due to low wages
4. An American Conman In London. Will Smith cons British out of a fortune with one of the worst films ever made
5. Jaws III. Actors in California attack the public all along coastal movie houses, to feed their insatiable appetite for money
6. Shakespeare In Debt. The real-life story of William Shakespeare and his debts, owed to a real estate company for his million-dollar mansion
7. Scream. Lots of cinema audiences hear how ridiculously highly film actors get paid, and flee the buildings screaming
8. Pirates Californian. Ham actors read cliched scripts across the oceans, stealing and plundering money from the public to line their pockets
9. Jurassic Park. Dinosaurs like Tom Cruise are only paid what they're worth, and trash the park in a massive spoilt tantrum
10. Kindergarden Crap. Muscle-bound Austrian midget talks in a dodgy foreign accent for 90 minutes, and is paid by the gift of Venezuela for it
11. Eleven. Extra 10% increase in the number ten to cover buying mansions, cars and holidays for underpaid actors and actresses

Please get ripped off during your movie, by purchasing Coca Cola and popcorn at a mark-up of 200%.