Happy Hannukmass Chrismakah
Jewish groups are alternately outraged and amused by an invitation issued by the White House for a Hanukkah reception: the printed card features a painting of the White House Christmas tree being delivered as the President and Laura kiss under the mi...
Read full storyWith Clinton Cabinet in Place, Obama Plans 8 Month Safari "to Find Himself"!
Washington, DC/ Leisure Times - The President Elect, Barack Hussein Obama I, says his job is "over", and now he needs "time to rest!" Obama made the statement at a national news conference after he turned the day to day running of the country over t...
Read full storyJoe Biden Surfaces: Been Missing Since Nov. 4. Staffers Say Lobotomy Appears to have Cleared His Mind!
Walter Reed Army Hospital/ Medical Journal - Vice President Elect Joe Biden suddenly resurfaced today after having "gone missing" since the night of the Presidential election over a month ago. Mysteriously, no one noticed he had been missing! A...
Read full storyRobber Foiled In Leeds
Two female employees of a bookmaking shop in Leeds, West Yorkshire, England, took on a robber who barged into their office. Nickola Kirk, 37, and Francisca Hamilton, 39, fought with the man, who decided he was outmatched and tried to run -- but found...
Read full storyPelosi Embarrassed as Hillary Parks her Broom Next to Speaker's Personal Jumbo Jet at Dulles Airport!
Dulles International Airport/ Air Force Times - During Senator Hillary Clinton's recent appearance before Congress to request a Campaign Debt Bailout, she obviously learned what Big Three CEO's hadn't when they showed up to plead their cause in priva...
Read full storyPictures of Jessica Alba's shaved pussy shown to very interested Vanessa Hudgens
Sultry 'Sin City' hotty Jessica Alba has handed over photographs of her shaven pussy (her cat of course!) to High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens for further inspection. Alba says her cat had an accident involving a hedge trimmer at her Beverl...
Read full storyPutin caught shagging ex-Olympic gymnast Svetlana Khorkina
Moscow - (Bolshevik Ass Mess): Russian Prime Monster Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin has been caught shagging former Olympic 'artistic' gymnast Svetlana Vasilievna Khorkina, now a Deputy in the Russian State Duma. Private detectives acting for Mrs Putin...
Read full storySanta Claus To Retire Dec. 24
For nearly 800 years, Christopher Rudolph Kringle, better known as Santa Claus, has been traveling across the globe every Christmas Eve, giving presents to all the good children and raping all the bad ones. But this year, he's retiring. For the fi...
Read full storyMonday's apocalyptical Feast of the Immaculate Deception and the Enlightenment (of Spoof writer) Jesus Buddha
London - (Grateful Dead Sea Scrolls Mess): Armageddon watchers are holding their breath ahead of Monday 8 December's apocalyptical Feast of the Immaculate Deception which coincides with the Sanskrit holy day of Bodhi or the Enlightenment of Spoof! w...
Read full storyHillary Rodent Clinton's Debt Dyke Crisis
Hilarious Rodent Clinton is scrambling to reduce her massive campaign debt before she becomes the US Secretary of Sleaze, when federal ethics laws - and political sensitivities - will severely hamper her ability to do so. (Granting her nomination is...
Read full storyVatican issues a writ: McCartney under threat
In breaking news, the Vatican has announced that it will subpoena former Beatle Paul McCartney to attend a special hearing by the Office of Orthodox Instruction (formerly the Inquisition set up originally during the Reformation). Whilst the Vatic...
Read full storyFirst World Projectile Vomiting Championships to be Launched
A new sport has been created that could take the world by surprise. It was 'invented' by Wilfred Retch of Shrewsbury who had, along with his brother Richard, been to see his grandfather at the Royal Shrewsbury Hospital earlier last year. On their way...
Read full storyPentagon Expanding Number of Aliens Recruited: Ranks to Include More Wookies, Klingons, Droids
WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) -- The Pentagon has issued a directive to expand the number of aliens it recruits into the military in yet another effort to make up for chronic shortages of warriors, doctors, and linguists available for wartime duty. The...
Read full storyJacqui Smith Sues over Accusation of Kindness
When Mr. Norman Normal saw Jacqui Smith apparently helping an infirm old woman to cross the street, he made the mistake of his life by complimenting the Home Secretary on her kindness. Now he is to be sued for ₤3 million for jeopardizing 'not on...
Read full storyWille Nelson To Be The New Secretary of Agriculture
AUSTIN, Texas - Country music icon, Willie Nelson, 75, has been named by president-elect Barack Obama to be the new secretary of agriculture. Obama told CNN's Anderson Cooper, "Look Andy, there is no one in the United States who is more qualified...
Read full storyAll US Citizens Will be Able to Vote in Detroit's Shareholder Meetings
Detroit, Michigan Reaching a historic agreement with CEO's of the Big Three automobile manufacturers, Congress, on Wednesday, approved a massive bailout plan...and included the stipulation, that if the American tax-payers are to bail out the auto co...
Read full storyRNC's UNCEMPD Paid More than a Dollar per Strand of Hair to Disguise Palin's Pretty Brainless Head
Scientists have long debated the number of hairs on the average human head. The estimates , without reference to the biblical pledge to have counted every hair, come out at about an average of 100,ooo strands. As reports of the money spent by the NRC...
Read full storySweet Caroline Kennedy Backed Obama to Get Uncle Booby's Old Senate Seat
Daughter of JFK, Caroline Kennedy whose last political act was to ride a pony in the Rose garden came out of hiding to back Obama against Clinton. Now that her wager has won, the real reason has emerged. Caroline hoped that Obama would win, name Clin...
Read full storyBush's Half Million Month Jobless Man March Makes Bid for Guinness Book
In a line that would reach the moon and back, President Bush created a queue of the November unemployed just to get into the Guinness Book of World Records. W explained: "I tried to get into the book for losing two wars at a time but was...
Read full storyArrested for impersonation
TORONTO Margate- An on the buses bus driver has been arrested in Toronto on a charge of impersonating himself with intent, police said on Friday. Malcon Preper, founder and managing partner of On The Buses company, was scheduled to appear in court...
Read full storyJobs vanish
WASHITON - Half-million jobs vanished virtually in a flash last month, the worst in over a century. Some people predict 1 million jobs will vanish between now and the spring of 2009 - and that the once-humming economy could stagger forward at a sh...
Read full storyObama Saves Auto Industry, to Build "Obamawagens"
WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) -- President-elect Barack Obama has unveiled his plan to save the ailing US auto industry by nationalizing the auto sector and making a single car model, to be known as the "Obamawagen." Modeled on the popular beetle-shaped...
Read full storyGordon's Fruity Calender
Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay is set to cash in on his sexual escapades with the release of the Gordon Ramsay "Big Boy" Calender featuring twelve erotic shots of the culinary king doing inappropriate things with food. "It'll be out before the new y...
Read full storyBuffalo Bills Ask For OJ Simpson To Be Removed From Pro Football Hall Of Fame
There was more bad news for OJ Simpson last night as, after having been sentenced to 15 years in prison for kidnap and armed robbery, it was announced that the team he once played for, the Buffalo Bills, had asked for his great name to be de-inductif...
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