Rumsfeld: 'I Kill You All'
DISCLAIMER ** QnewZ, reporting this breaking news story makes no claims to the actual authenticity of the story being reported, even though QnewZ is reporting it ..
Read full storyDiebold Electronic Voting Machine self diagnostics verify 122% voter turnout across 79 states
While the original design specification for electronic voting machines stated they should register one vote, per person, per issue, there are early indications that this minimum requirement has been significantly outperformed.
Read full storyFake Celebrity Farm Exposed
There was a shock revelation in entertainment circles today as three of our most vapid, vacant, mediocre, and therefore most photographed and well liked, celebrities show that there's more to them than meets the eye.
Read full storyCandy Shop Cops
The British Home Secretary announced today, that after years of political correctness, a new approach to policing was needed because his police officers were afraid to go out onto the streets.
Read full story3 Goats and a Tortoise Accidentally Voted into US Senate
With the votes piling in for the US senate now the Democrats have won control of the US House of Representatives, it has been revealed via leaked documents that Utah accidentally voted in three goats and a tortoise named Sammy.
Read full storyFaith Hill's Confession: I Just Wanted to get Kanye West's Attention
LONDON - Faith Hill now says her much televised, much talked about but inaudible scream, was just a cry for attention - from Kanye West.
Read full storyBush Mid-term Catastrophe Blamed on Creationists' Origin of the Specious
Washington DC - (Associated Mess): A post-mortem on the Republicans' disastrous Mid-term results has blamed the Bush Administration's backing of Creationist agendas that intelligent voters rejected as a specious argument originating from DNA...
Read full storyThe Liar, the Bitch and the Warlord
Following his humiliating defeat in the Iraqi War, Saddam Hussein spent many hours in his jail cell pondering his fate. During this time he was urged to write of his life and experiences and our top reporter managed to get a sneak preview.
Read full storyEmergency Airlift of Viagra and Oysters to Stem Europe's Population Collapse
BRUSSELS -- In the wake of the crisis meeting of the European Union's Population Board, EU ministers have called on the United States to begin an emergency airlift of "population uncontrol" measures to the European Union's shrinkin...
Read full storyMadonna Blocks Cher from Entering Kenya
Cher's low-key pledge to help a Kenyan village may well be blocked by another superstar - Madonna. In an apparent rage at being upstaged in her adoption bid, Madge has bought the East African state to stop her singing rival entering the country.
Read full storyDems Gloat About Not Gloating
USA - No sooner had the pixels faded on MSNBCNN's high-tech maps (ABCNBCBS News, if you aren't being gouged by cable or satellite) showing the Democratic sweep, than a parade of Dem leaders popped on screen to declare "a new day in Ameri...
Read full storyEqual Heights Amendment Spawns Protests, Backlash, and a Spate of Tom Cruise movies
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Equal Heights Amendment's (EhA) passage in July has unleashed a furor of protests, counter protests and legal actions both in the U.S. and around the world. Even those who still support the larger principles behind the Eh...
Read full storyBush loses house; insists "It's gotta be here somewhere!"
Following the republican's defeat in the mid-term elections a rather confused and dazed George W. Bush was found wandering the streets of Washington asking strangers and passers by, "Have you seen my house?".
Read full storyWoman arrested for literally "having a giraffe"
A woman from Buxbury, West Sussex, and her husband have been arrested on charges of consuming, and aiding and abetting the consumption (respectively) of a giraffe. The as-yet-unnamed couple were caught on the 11 November having finished their supper,...
Read full storyDylan to take his theme time radio show on the road
Sources at Columbia Records have revealed that legendary singer songwriter Bob Dylan will be taking his radio show on the road next year. Only registered users of the Internet Bob Dylan Forum, the dylanpool will be graced with this one in a lifetime...
Read full storyFaith Hill: I'm No Kanye West; But Then Again Neither is He
NASHVILLE -- Faith Hill says she's no Kanye West -- but then again he isn't either. The country music superstar says she was "joking" when she screamed "WHAT?" in apparent anger after losing the female vocalist of the yea...
Read full story