Written by Douglas Salguod

Wednesday, 8 November 2006

image for Faith Hill's Confession: I Just Wanted to get Kanye West's Attention
Faith and Kanye will

LONDON - Faith Hill now says her much televised, much talked about but inaudible scream, was just a cry for attention - from Kanye West.

The country music superstar previously said she was just "joking" when she screamed "WHAT?" in apparent anger after losing the female vocalist of the year award to Idol champion Carrie Underwood at the 2006 Country Music Association Awards ceremony in Nashville.

Hill now admits she was serious - serious about getting Kanye to notice her.

Hill, who married country singer Tim McGraw shortly after teaming up with him for the aptly named Spontaneous Combustion tour in 1996, says the lure of West is too great, being the most combustible man in the music business.

"I thought Timmy was hot just because he sweat a lot on stage - but Kanye, oh Kanye, his fiery temper just sets me aflame," said Hill in an interview with MTV UK in London, where she is looking for Kanye.

Hill, who is white, very white, said that she thinks that with love she and Kanye can bridge the gulfs between socially, culturally, musically and racially. "He may be black but he often wears white," Hill noted. "And for all our differences, we both have glowing red eyes."

Kanye West stormed the stage at the MTV Europe Music Awards in Denmark last week, disrupting the winners' speech. West ran screaming in an obscenity laden diatribe that his video deserved the "Best Video" Award for "Touch the Sky" - which had just lost to Justice vs. Simian's project "We Are Your Friends."

West was later quoted as saying of Justice vs. Simian, "I never heard of you (but) I am your friend."

Yesterday Justice vs. Simian released a statement saying, "When we wrote 'We Are Your Friends,' we really didn't mean to include Kanye West."

McGraw was not available for comment.

Aram Sinnreich, a music industry analyst at the University of Southern California, says this painful turn of events for McGraw could be a big boost to his career as there are "at least three albums worth of real country material here."

In related news, as a consolation prize in lieu of Female Vocalist of The Year, the Country Music Association has decided to give Hill a special "Silent Scream" award for best publicity grabbing off-stage performance by a country-tinged pop artist.

Copyright 2006, Douglas Salguod

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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